July 28, 2011

Fear no Evil

Well...ok, this movie.....this movie was, um, really bad. The end.

No seriously, so many things happened in this movie and yet ultimately; nothing happened. The narrative is completely disjointed, the Lucifer theme gets confused with almost every occult thing imaginable, and the "plot" never moves forward! The worst part is there was so much promise: the soundtrack is full of good bands and look at the box for crying out loud! 

The plot unfolds something like this: [Oh dear, I may not be able to do this...] Fear no Evil opens on a scene that is completely convoluted, but evidently ends with Lucifer being defeated by an angel sometime in the distant past...in front of a castle... Then we are introduced to an incarnation of Lucifer in the 1980's, at this baptism, where he turns his baptismal waters red. On his 18th birthday he puts his mom in a coma. Then we see him at his high school being dorky and getting picked on. Then it's reveled that Lucifer's neighbors are really angels sent to destroy him. Then Lucifer goes on a walk, kills a dog and makes a sacrifice...to himself... Then there is a MAJOR outdoor passion play put on by the local church. And then more stuff happens, people start bleeding, the dead are brought back to life, an angel defeats Lucifer, and thankfully the movie ends. [That final sequence of events could have redeemed the movie there, but allow me to assure you it did not.]

Things to watch for: An uncomfortable full frontal boys shower scene. Lucifer making a sacrifice...to himself...while shirtless...The murder of a golden retriever. A deadly game of dodge ball. Loads of bad lightning effects.

Soundtrack includes: B-52's, Boom Town Rats, Ramones, Sex Pistols, Patti Smith, Talking Heads.

What the filmmakers might have been thinking: What would happen if Lucifer was a boring high school student....

You may recognize: Stefan Arngrim (our Lucifer) from Class of 1984.

Previews: none
Tag line: "MEET ANDREW The Road To Hell is Paved with his Victims!"
Choice line from the synopsis: "This gripping story keeps you glued to your chair right through the final scene."
VHS release company: Embassy Home Video
Running time: 90min
VHS release: 1983
Original release: 1981

Our rating: Hard to watch on many levels

Fact you shouldn't care about: The actor that plays the first incarnation of Lucifer bought the novelization rights of the film for a dollar from the director/writer during filming.

                               (from left to right, top to bottom)
                              1. Lucifer in all his glory!
                              2. A Jesus with a horse head.
                              3. Nothing says Lucifer like unwanted sexual advances.
                              4. Death by dodge ball!
                              5. Lucifer drinking the blood of the sacrifice he made...to himself...
                              6. Even the zombies couldn't save this movie.
                              7. Lucifer in gym class.
                              8. Innocent bystanders spontaneously bleeding.
                              9. This is what happens when you stab Lucifer with a glowing thing.
                            10. This also happens when you stab Lucifer with a glowing thing.
                            11. Lucifer looking fabulous....while making a sacrifice...to himself...
                            12. Stigmata everywhere! In your eye.....
                            13. .....on your Grandma.
                            14. Passion play Jesus being struck by lightning.
                            15. ...your guess is as good as mine...



No comments:

Post a Comment