May 6, 2014

Critters 3 & 4 Double Feature

After watching the first two Critters movies earlier this month, we thought we'd finish off the series in a double feature. Unfortunately each Critters movie is exponentially harder to watch than the last, but they do keep it interesting by making each entry uniquely uncomfortable!

Critters 3

After starting off with a flashback-mashup-preview of the first two movies, this installment throws down the goofy gauntlet and never look back. I venture to say we've never seen a movie that was as goofy as this, and that's saying something...

The plot unfolds something like this: Your average midwestern family is at the tail end of their RV vacation when they get a flat tire. While dad repairs the tire Crite eggs make their way onto the camper, and the kids happen upon Charlie who is full of ominous warning. Once their tire is fixed, the family returns home to the city, bring the Crite eggs back with them. In short order Critters infest their apartment building and begin their epically goofy feast! Will Charlie make it the city to save them? Will the Crites over run the city? Will the dad get a job at the phone company?!? Will the goofiness ever end?!?!?

Things to watch for: A very young Leonardo DiCaprio, some stronger than usual female characters (though that's a mainstay for Critters movies), and awkward teenage dialogue at every single opportunity!

Yep, that's: Leonardo DiCaprio.

That lady moments with: Frances Bay and Diana Bellamy. (Between these two ladies lies over 240 acting credits. If you watched any TV show between 1977 and 2011, you'll likely recognize them both.)

Our rating: Better with a loud group.

Specs (our copy):
Format: VHS
Previews: Freddy’s Dead
Tag line: “You are what they eat.”
Choice line from the synopsis: “They're orphaned, they're hungry, they're multiplying and they're CRITTERS....”
VHS release company: New Line Home Video
Running time: 86 min
VHS release: 1991

Critters 4

This installment was made in a goofiness vacuum, it's by far the least fun of the series. It starts up exactly where the last film left off, because three and four were filmed back to back.

The plot unfolds something like this: Charlie has to preserve the universe's last two Crite eggs in a pod programed to jettison into space. Charlie manages get himself into the pod with the eggs and they are cryogenic frozen, and jettison into space, together. A space salvage crew discovers the pod floating through space, fifty three years later. They attempt to return the pod to it's owners for a hefty reward, until the captain decided to crack open the pod! Charlie and the Crites are released to duke it out one last time, while floating through space.

Who has no business being in this thing: Brad Dorrif and Angela Basset. They handily steal this show.

Our rating: Hard to watch on many levels.

Specs (our copy):
Format: VHS
Previews: Excessive Force, Year of the Comet, The Player
Tag line: “In space, they love to hear you scream!”
Choice line from the synopsis: “This time they're hungry to conquer the galaxy, with an appetite for mankind that's out of this world.”
VHS release company: New Line Home Video
Running time: 94 min

VHS release: 1992

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