Ninja III: The Domination

Ninja III is a movie that may have no peer. It combines the horribleness of ninja appropriation with the insanity of the 80s aerobics fad and topping it all off with a spirit possession. 

The story unfolds something like this: Ninja III jumps into the action head first as most of the L.A.P.D. is slashed, dropped, drown, and ninja-stared to death while responding to a ninja having murdered a golfer and his golfing party. The cop-massacre ends when our ninja is filled with more bullets than Bonnie and Clyde combined, and still somehow manages to make his was to the bordering desert to die. Luckily, he runs into Christie, a plucky utility worker/aerobics instructor who's body he immediately decides to possess. Christie reports most of that to the police where she meets officer Billy Secord. He's a tenacious cop who stalks Christie until she suddenly relents to his demands that they date. Meanwhile, Christie is hunting down the cops who were successful in defending themselves during the cop-massacre. She's also slowly becoming aware she's “possessed”. Will the ghost of the ninja's blood lust ever be fulfilled?

And there's aerobics?: For reasons that never make any sense at all, Christie teaches an aerobics class in her off hours as a utility worker. As a result of this we're treated to an abundance of scenes with unnecessary aerobicising, both in a gym setting and in the fog filled home of our possessed Christie.

Things to watch for: Epic fog-machine use at the flimsiest excuse. A cop that witnesses an attack against Christie but doesn't help her as she fends off her attackers,  but then “arrests” her for assault as a way to "win her heart". The aforementioned harassment plot totally scoring the harasser a date. The grossest use of V-8 Juice in a sex seen we hope to ever see. An arcade game scanning someone with laser-grids. Attempts to jazzercise a ninja spirit away. A man who wears a sweater underneath all his tank tops... hold on, maybe that wasn't a sweater...

What we learned: Sometimes you don't have to see the two previous movies to fully enjoy the third in the series.

But did we like it: Honestly, this movie gets better and better at every turn... if your version of “better” involves fog machines and laser light shows... which ours does...