June 22, 2011

1990: The Bronx Warriors

This movie could easily be written off as an Italian Warriors rip off, but it has a lovely charm all it’s own. From it’s leading tough guy that walks like a girl in high heels, to its total disregard for its own plot, this movie is lots of fun to watch. (We also found while researching this movie that this is a Pandora’s box of bad movies. Almost every actor was in at least three other movies we own/need to see/love, and some of them even directed those movies. This movie has rightly earned a special place in our hearts.)

The plot unfolds something like this:  The Bronx have become totally lawless and over run with street gangs in goofy, nonsense costumes. The daughter of one of the city’s largest corporations has run a way from home and right into a gang, with a hockey theme, who immediately harass her. But do not fear! The leader of our hero gang has come to save her, fall in love with her, make her fall in love with him and change her perspective on her miserable life. And he will do all of this with out portraying a single emotion.

Things to watch for: Harry Potters rebellious dad. An unintended and abrupt motorcycle wipeout. Themed gangs with themes you can’t identify. Law abiding cars in the backdrop of this lawless part of the city. Flame throwing from horse back.

Yep, that’s: Fred Williamson

“That guy!” moments with: Vic Morrow (Twilight Zone: The Movie), and Christopher Connelly (Manhattan Baby).

Fun things to repeat during the film: Every time someone calls the gang leader by his nickname “Trash”, repeat “go pick it up!” ala the New York Dolls. [This could be a drinking game but be advised; take turns one at a time moving through a big circle of people or you all will die of alcohol poising with in the first hour.]

What the filmmakers might have been thinking: You know, I wonder what the Bronx will be like eight years from now…

What we learned: It takes a non-emoting teen with a Barbie doll stride to run a lawless gang in the Bronx.

Previews:  none
Tag line: none
Choice line from the synopsis: “The controversial film that caused big waves in the Big Apple.”
VHS release company: Media Home Entertainment, INC.
Running time: 86 minutes
VHS release:  1984
Original release:  1982

Our rating:  Better with a group.

Super nerd facts:  Vic Morrow was one of the three people that died while making Twilight Zone: The Movie. His last fully completed movie was 1990: The Bronx Warriors.

P.S If you don’t know who Fred Williamson is, I’ll give you a small taste; he has appeared in more than 100 films, played with the KC Chiefs in the first Super Bowl, has produced more than 40 films with his production company “Po ‘Boy Productions,” has black belts in three martial arts, and he occasionally writes and directs. 
              (left to right top to bottom)
           1.    Our oddly shaped hero facing off with the left over 70’s gang
           2.    Gothic gang member appears to have been crying.
           3.    Harry Potters rebellious dad.
           4.    Our hero is clearly upset.
           5.    Fred Williamson lookin’ good!
           6.    Even when he’s kicking ass, he shows no emotion.
           7.    I didn’t remember Freddy Murcery was in this film…
           8.    Vic Morrow having a good time!
           9.    Gang member from the pie in the face gang.
          10.   Street hockey gang.
          11.   Badass.
          12.   Just, wow.


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