We'd forgive you for writing this off as a Warriors knock off, but this movie has a lovely charm all it’s own. From it’s leading tough guy's Barbie doll swagger to its total disregard for its own plot, this movie is lots of fun to watch. (We also found while researching this movie that this is a Pandora’s box of bad movies. Almost every actor was in (or directed) at least three other movies we own, need to see, or already love.)
The plot unfolds something like this: The Bronx have become totally lawless and over run with street gangs in goofy, nonsense costumes. The daughter of one of the city’s largest corporations has run a way from home and right into a gang, with a hockey theme, who immediately harass her. But do not fear! The leader of our hero gang has come to save her, fall in love with her, make her fall in love with him, and change her perspective on her miserable life. And he'll do all of this with out portraying a single emotion...
Things to watch for: Harry Potters rebellious dad. An unintended and abrupt motorcycle wipeout. Themed gangs with themes you can’t really identify. Law abiding cars casually passing through the background of this totally lawless part of the city. Flame throwing from horse back. A gang leader with the emotional range of a cardboard box.
Yep, that’s: Fred Williamson
“That guy!” moments with: Vic Morrow (Twilight Zone: The Movie), and Christopher Connelly (Manhattan Baby).
Fun things to repeat during the film: Every time someone calls the gang leader by his name, “Trash”, repeat “go pick it up!” ala the New York Dolls. [This could be a drinking game but, you could also die in the first half hour of the film.]
What the filmmakers might have been thinking: You know, I wonder what the Bronx will be like eight years from now…
What we learned: It takes a non-emoting teen with a Barbie doll swagger to run a gang in the lawless hellscape of 1990's Bronx.
Specs:
Previews: none
Tag line: none
Choice line from the synopsis: “The controversial film that caused big waves in the Big Apple.”
VHS release company: Media Home Entertainment, INC.
Running time: 86 minutes
VHS release: 1984
Original release: 1982
Our rating: Better with a group.
Super nerd facts: Vic Morrow was one of the three people that died while making Twilight Zone: The Movie. and his last fully completed movie was 1990: The Bronx Warriors.
P.S If you don’t know who Fred Williamson is, I’ll give you a small taste; he has appeared in more than 100 films, played with the KC Chiefs in the first Super Bowl, has his own movie production company, black belts in three martial arts, and he occasionally writes and directs. [UPDATE: He also stumped for Trump in 2016, which means he might actually be his character from Black Caesar.]
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(left to right top to bottom)
1. Our oddly shaped hero facing off with a "throwback" 70’s gang.
2. Gothic gang member appears to have been crying.
3. Harry Potters rebellious dad.
4. Our hero is clearly upset.
5. Fred Williamson lookin’ good!
6. Even when he’s kicking ass, he shows no emotion.
7. Freddy Mercury?
8. Vic Morrow having a good time!
9. A gang member from the pie in the face gang...
10. Street hockey gang!
11. Badass.
12. Just, wow.
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