October 14, 2015

The Witchery (aka Evil Dead 4)

Recently, over at the Tape Freaks house, we burned through the second season of Baywatch Nights. (If you're not familiar with that amazing piece of television history, it's basically Baywatch meets Supernatural and X-Files) so to top off our Hasselhoff-meets-the-supernatural binge, we watched Witchery...

The plot unfolds something like this: Leslie, and her boyfriend are illegally squatting in an abandoned hotel, located on an island off Massachusetts, while she researches the sorted history of the island for her forthcoming book. Meanwhile, interested buyers come to survey the hotel and property. The two groups run into each other and soon discover they are stranded on the island. Unhappily, they must share the hotel for the evening, and that's about the time they start wondering if any of them came to the island of their own free will...

Ok, I admit: There's some artistic license in that description, it would be nice if it was that straight forward but believe me, it's more convoluted than that.

Things to watch for: Everyone in this movie delivers their lines like they are drunk, especially Hasselhoff, but especially the kid brother. The Original-Hipster who has a book written by a “really obscure German writer” that's “never been translated into english”. Some over the top make-up effects. A kid that loves his sister a smidge too much. Oh, I haven't mentioned Linda Blair's in this!

Things to turn away for: A sexual assault from satan.

How this movie ends: One of the characters looks straight into camera and says “My baby?!”.

Originally Released as: Evil Dead 4 (But like any good Italian movie sequel, there's no connection to Evil Dead what-so-ever).

Hoff trivia: Hoff and his co-star Catherine Hickland were married when this movie was filmed. The internets say the year this movie was released, they were divorced...

What we learned: Everything David Hasselhoff makes an appearance in turns to alcohol soaked' gold.

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