Canuxploitation: Canadian Slashers!

The slasher boom of the 80s had a huge impact, including a huge influence on our neighbors to the north Here are 7 classic slashers that came out of the Canuxploitation boom.

My Bloody Valentine (1981): A lot of Canuxploitation movies try to hide how Canadian they are, but this movie lets it's Canadian-ness shine. It's shot in Nova Scotia, set in a rural coal mining town and all the actors sport pretty thick accents; it's very Canadian. But it's also a really fun slasher flick featuring a killer equipped with a gas mask and pick axe! When it was originally released, the MPAA cut approximately 5-9 min out of the film to get it to an R rating cutting all of the kills out. Thankfully the gore bits were reassembled for a release in 2009, with only one kill still missing due to the deterioration of that section of film. (My Bloody Valentine also features a closing song that will defiantly stick with you for while...)

Prom Night (1980): This is a cheap cash in on the success of Halloween, so much so that they got Jamie Lee Curtis to star in it! This one always felt pretty forgettable and boring to us, but honestly we've only seen it a couple times on a really bad VHS copy so maybe there's more to it that we're missing. Though, it does feature a ridiculous disco soundtrack that prompted a number of critics to dub this a cross between Halloween and Saturday Night Fever!

Terror Train: Another Jamie Lee Curtis movie! This one gets a lot less love than Prom Night, but we feel this one's superior in many ways (you can check out our previous gushings about it here). This one's shot by John Alcott (long time Kubrick Cinematographer) so the movie looks amazing and is surprisingly flush with creative lighting and camera work. It's all shot on a train, which could get dull pretty quick, but the filmmakers incorporate stuff like unique masks used by the killer, Vanity in a leading role, and an on-train magic act preformed by none other than a young David Copperfield, so there's hardly a dull moment! Scream Factory put Terror Train out on Blu-ray, it's well worth picking up to see this flick in all it's glory.

Curtains: This unique slasher revolves around a movie director (played by John Vernon) who convinces his long-time leading lady that, in order to properly research her next role, she must be briefly (and covertly) committed to an asylum. However, his actual intentions are to just leaver her there forever. While she's desperately trying to escape the asylum, he holds additions for new lead actresses at his secluded estate, where masked killer picks them off one by one. This is a really interesting movie, but it's also a disjointed mess, and it's likely because of all the production problems. The crew shot 45 min of film before production stopped for a rewrite, and they didn't resume filming for over a year. The director, Richard Ciupka, wanted to make an art-house horror film, but producer Peter Simpson (who produced all 4 original Prom Night movies) wanted a more "marketable" film. Ciupka left the project when production shutdown, had his name removed from the film, and insisted the director credit go to the fictional director in the film, Jonathan Stryker.

Happy Birthday to Me: A pretty straightforward mystery-slasher, but also a really fun one! That's likely due to the fact that it was made by the veteran director J. Lee Thompson. Though, Thompson had never directed a straightforward horror movie before, he had directed multiple Planet of the Apes films as well as the original Cape Fear. After filming this horror gem he directed a bunch of Charles Bronson movies for Cannon films, but we're glad he took a stab a the horror genre when he did!

Black Christmas: Made four years before the original Halloween, this horror classic spawned countless holiday slasher films. This film also came almost a decade before director Bob Clark made his other holiday staple: A Christmas Story. This classic also features a star (and going to be star) studded cast: Margot Kidder, Olivia Hussey, Andrea Martin, Keir Dullea, and John Saxon just to name a few! This is also the first feature film to use the "calls are coming from inside the house" trope, and one of the first to use POV shots from the perspective of the killer to obscure their identity from the audience. We could go on and on about this one, it's one of our faves inside and out!

Suspira

If ever there was a more visually striking horror movie, we have not seen it. Enormous sets pulsate with so much vivid color they seem alive in their own rite; lights cast red and blue glows from impossible sources, a forest surrounds the school grounds seemingly plucked from someone's nightmare, and don't even get us started on the score!

The plot unfolds something like this: Suzy Bannion has been accepted to a prestigious dance school, and even before she steps foot in the building, strange things start happening. A girl disappears into the night, teachers ritualistically gather at all hours, people die left and right, and nobody seem too bothered by any of it. Suzy's dorm-mate is determined to figure out what's really happening; but then she goes missing as well. That leaves Suzy to put the pieces together herself before she's consumed by mysteriousness as well.

Reasons to watch: This is one of the last films to be shot using the Technicolor process, making it as richly beautiful as it is creatively gory. The set designs were designed with the knowledge this would be shot in Technicolor and are vibrant to the point of glowing. There's some intense gore and drawn out kills. And a twist ending that doesn't make sense, but is pretty fun anyway.



Yup, that's: Jessica Harper (Phantom of the Paradise, Pennies from Heaven), and Joan Bennett (Dark Shadows).



The soundtrack: This Goblin score strays from their signature sound making this more effectively creepy, atmospheric, and largely more haunting than most of their horror scores.

Most creative kills: One of the dancers is killed by room full of razor wire. A woman is pulled through one pain of glass, and then is pushed through another. A dog abruptly, and mortally, turns on a human...

How do we really feel about this film: This film never fails to stir up our creative juices, we can't recommend it enough!

Deadly Eyes

The Trylon microcinema and Moon Palace Books have an amazing book-and-movie club called “That movie was a book?”. As the name suggests, they read a book and watch a movie that uses the book as source material. Deadly Eyes could be a movie they tackle some day, as it's roughly based on the James Herbert horror novel The Rats. Yes, this giant killer rat movie is based on a giant killer rat book.

The plot unfolds something like this: A city health inspector has discovered a grain storage facility's rat infestation. She orders the effected, steroid boosted, corn to be burned to ensure it won't be consumed by humans. This sensible act has the unanticipated side effect of leaving a population of dachshund sized rats in search of a food supply abundant enough to meet their insatiable hunger. But where will these massive scavengers find their next source for food?

Reasons to watch: A male teacher thwarting a much younger student's advances to pursue a woman his own age! Canadians in the 80s biking in the snow like it's no big deal. Enter the Dragon clips. Fighting off rats with a blowtorch. Did I mention dachshunds dressed up as rats?...

Dachshunds dressed like rats: The special effects crew made a pretty interesting choice when it came to the rat effects. They made individually fitted rat costumes for a small army of dachshunds (and a few terriers) who were only able to work in 5 min bursts over period of 2 hours a day. Whether that worked out to be easier than building mechanical rats we couldn't say for sure, but the effect is spectacularly creepy. There's not an everyday reason to notice how much a dachshund moves like a huge rat, but you can't really forget once know.


“That guy!” moment with: Scatman Crothers!

The director: This is the only horror movie that Robert Clouse directed (and the only horror movie Golden Harvest produced), mostly he directed amazing and amazingly bad action films: Gymkata,  Force: Five, Golden Needles, Black Belt Jones, and Enter the Dragon (again for Holden Harvest, explaining why clips from this movie are featured in Deadly Eyes).

What we learned: Sweaty dachshund wrangler is now on our list of jobs we don't want.

Horror/Power Pop Mixtape.

Its been awhile since I did one of these, but since we are playing a fun 80's horror movie tomorrow night I figured I should throw cheesy horror mix together. I've had the idea for a horror/power pop mixtape for awhile but only had a handful of songs that fit the theme, so I had to cheat a little. But no matter, please enjoy!

Killer Workout (aka Aerobicide)

Usually in aerobics movies there's guys in the workout classes with women so they can ogle the women along with the audience, but the men in Killer Workout are DEADLY SERIOUS about aerobicizing. They might be more serious than their instructors or any of their classmates. They are in aerobics to WIN IT, and it never failed to get a laugh out of us.

The plot unfolds something like this: Gym patrons are dropping like flies, while others are sexually harassing each other. Everyone's a suspect (for the killing not the harassing) as bodies are stacking up and... well that about sums it up I think.

Things to watch for: High kill count, gratuitous aerobic workout scenes, jump scares done right, people wearing their workout clothes 24-7, gratuitous aerobic workout scenes, some attempts at man-candy to even things out, gratuitous aerobic workout scenes, outrageous late 80s pop music, and a twist ending you could never see coming. Did I mention gratuitous aerobic workout scenes?

What we learned: If during the first few hours of your first shift at your new job, where a murder has just taken place, you get into a fist fight in the parking lot while taking out the trash and then "go for a ride" with a stranger you just met; don't worry, no one will bring it up again for the rest of the time you work there!

May clue #1:

Clue one: This month's flick is a horror movie centered around a popular 80s recreational activity.

Tape Freaks Presents: May 21st Mystery Movie!: Theatres at Mall of America, Thursday, May 21th at 7:30pm, only $5!

Tim Kincaid and the Kansas City Trilogy.

It's easy to write off artists who's work doesn't live up to the cultural standard of “good”. But, quite often, you find amazing things when you investigate those creating off the beaten path. Tim Kincaid does not disappoint in that arena.

If you're not sure who Tim Kincaid is, we completely understand. Most of his film career he wrote-directed porn films under the name Joe Gauge but, for a brief stint in the late 80s he made seven fantastically bad straight-to-video genera movies. Breeders, Robot Holocaust, and Mutant Hunt are some of his better know written-directed works, but he's also responsible for Necropolis and Enemy Territory (the only movie to star Ray Parker Jr.) as a result of his producing. His movies were shot with almost no budget, contain spectacularly awkward performances, have production levels impossible to recreate while trying, and perfectly incapsulate the singular time in history where most of the country was simultaneously frightened of and intrigued by New York City; and so far, we love them all!

Though, as bad as they are, all of these cult classics retain their popularity today regularly selling for $80 on VHS, when you can find them. But despite all this, Tim Kincaid's legacy does not lie outside his porn stint.

    

In the early 70s, when the longstanding gay male stereotype in porn (and the rest of cinema) was “effeminate” city-living men, Tim Kincaid made porn films about blue collar workers hooking up in working class settings. His portrayals of gay men as people from all walks of life, influenced a generation of people. As a result, the “Kansas City Trilogy" is Tim Kincaid's true legacy. He makes porn again today, and he discusses some of the modern “taboos” he's breaking in this great interview with BUTT magazine . He also talks about making the Kansas City Trilogy and leaving porn to do “mainstream” work while he and his wife raised their sons (one of whom now makes soundtracks for his porn flicks).

All these discoveries have made us extra excited to watch a Tim Kincaid classic on the big screen. Come see it with us this weekend after a lovely Mother's Day dinner!

Breeders, Sunday May 11^th (Mother's Day!!) @ Theaters at MOA $5, 7:30

Mix Tape!

Adding to our trend of monsters from space, here is a "mix tape" I made featuring songs from soundtracks of space alien movies. Enjoy!
-Tim

Critters

We're so excited for the Theaters of MOA's screening of Critters 2, we had to re-watch the original! This movie is good fun from start to finish and it contains one of our all-time-favorite insult slinging dads. Seriously, his casual threat to his kid has inspired us to hurl some impressive insults around our circle of friends.

The plot unfolds something like this: One eventing the Brown family notices a strange light in the sky fall into their back yard. Unfortunately for them, it's Krites, a pack of furry aliens hell bent on eating everything in their path. Luckily, shapeshifting intergalactic bounty hunters are on the case, though they seem to be better at smashing up the town than actually hunting Krites. No matter, with the Browns taking out more Krites than our bounty hunters can shake a stick at, someone is likely to save the day!

Things to watch for: The biggest overreaction to the possibility of missing a bus ever uttered by a father to his son. Special effects by the Chiodo Brothers. The same house and yard used in Invaders From Mars. Zoolander's good friend Billy Zane! The flimsiest excuse to have a song written for, and several times preformed in, a movie.

What we learned: When in doubt, throw modified firecrackers at it.

What the filmmakers might have been thinking: I've never seen a horror movie where the heroes swoop in and destroy as much as the bad guys...

“Hey that's” moments with: Dee Wallace (The Howling, ET), Scott Grimes (ER, Party of Five) and M. Emmet Walsh (Blade Runner, Fletch, The Jerk and 206 other things).

Yep, that's: Billy Zane.

Specs (our copy):

Format: VHS

Previews: none

Tag line: none

Choice line from the synopsis: “It's an alien adventure, full of action and just crawling with CRITTERS!”

VHS release company: RCA

Running time: 86min

VHS release: 1986

Original release: 1986

Our rating: Better with a group.

Power of the Night

     

There was a trend in 80s horror movies thats origin sort of eludes us; producers commissioning uncomfortably specific pop songs written with the intention of being preformed in the film they're too specific about. Reasons this might have been a trend could involve the birth and raging success of MTV around the same time. It could also have to do with deals between movie and record execs. But whatever the reasons, big name producers jumped all over the idea like a dogs over scraps of meat. 

What we do know is that trend left us with some AMAZING 80's music gems, including Power of the Night featured in Critters.

Written and preformed by Terrence Mann (though he isn't credited on the original soundtrack) the song was entirely removed from later reissues (possibly because they weren't crediting the right musician). Lucky for us, we live in the age of the internet, where you couldn't obliterate anything this amazing if you tried! Please enjoy (as we have been all week) Power of the Night: 

Three Brothers from the Bronx.

Some practical effects fans know the Chiodo Bros. by name, but even if you don't know who they are, you've likely seen their work. From Sabrina the Teenage Witch to Team America World Police they have been using their unique collection of talents to create cult icons. Some of my favorite monsters from the 80s were created by these guys [LIST MONSTERS], but my personal favorites would have to be Critters and Killer Klowns from Outer Space.

Critters was their first feature film gig, and Killer Klowns from Outer Space is their only directorial venture. Both Critters and Killer Klowns stand out in an era that was saturated with monsters, creatures, and aliens, their work is colorful, whimsical, and fun while still remaining menacing. There's a cartoon aesthetic to their designs (something that likely comes from their animation background) that makes their creatures jump off the screen.

Where Critters keeps the over all tone on the menacing side, Killer Klowns from Outer Space gives you the creeps while letting you laugh about it. They took an over-the-top premise of killer clowns and added the amazing element of making them also be space aliens who just happen to look like clowns. It's the perfect balance of wild premise, stellar effects, and good production: if you've not seen it, you're missing out on an unparallelled comedy horror movie. 

The brothers have continued working on other people's film projects and although their contributions to things like Elf and Pee Wee's Big Adventure are fantastic, I would love to see them work on something they have more control again! We also hope their contributions to the movie and television world continue well into the future, because if there's one thing we love, it's practical effects and puppetry!

The Greatest Night Ever.

With cinematic oddities, exploitation, voice overs, and so much more, Trailer Trash is a presentation of vintage trailers in 35mm glory! Audience participation, promises a unique blend of cult classics, karate masters, little lost dogs and laser blasts for each screening! We'll be at the 7:30 and 10 showings because (full disclosure) parts of the program are straight from our own collection! (We're so excited, every sentence of this blurb has ended in an exclamation point!)!

Trailer Trash @ MOA Theaters, May 9th 7:30 & 10:00, $7

Alternate Art for: Fear no Evil

Here is some additional art work we found for Fear no Evil (there's more after the break):

Fear no Evil

Well...ok, this movie...this movie was, um, really bad. The end!


No seriously, so many things happened in this movie and yet ultimately; nothing happened. The narrative is completely disjointed, the Lucifer theme gets confused with almost every occult thing imaginable, and the "plot" never moves forward! The worst part is there was so much promise; the soundtrack is full of good bands and look at the box for crying out loud! 


The plot unfolds something like this: [Oh dear, I may not be able to do this...] Fear no Evil opens on a scene that is completely convoluted, but evidently ends with Lucifer being defeated by an angel sometime in the distant past...in front of a castle... Then we're introduced to an incarnation of Lucifer in the 1980's, at this baptism, where he turns his baptismal waters red. Then, on his 18th birthday, he puts his mom in a coma. Then we see him at his high school being dorky and getting picked on. Then it's reveled that Lucifer's neighbors are really angels sent to destroy him. And then Lucifer goes on a walk, kills a dog and makes a sacrifice...to himself... Then there is a MAJOR outdoor passion play put on by the local church. And then more stuff happens, people start bleeding, the dead are brought back to life, an angel defeats Lucifer, and thankfully the movie ends. [That final sequence of events could have redeemed the movie there, but allow me to assure you it did not.]

Things to watch for: An uncomfortable full frontal boys shower scene. Lucifer making a sacrifice...to himself...while shirtless... The murder of a golden retriever. A deadly game of dodge ball. Loads of bad lightning effects.

Soundtrack includes: B-52's, Boom Town Rats, Ramones, Sex Pistols, Patti Smith, Talking Heads.

What the filmmakers might have been thinking: What would happen if Lucifer was a boring high school student...

You may recognize: Stefan Arngrim (our Lucifer) from Class of 1984.

Specs:

Previews: none

Tag line: "MEET ANDREW The Road To Hell is Paved with his Victims!"

Choice line from the synopsis: "This gripping story keeps you glued to your chair right through the final scene."

VHS release company: Embassy Home Video

Running time: 90min

VHS release: 1983

Original release: 1981

Our rating: Hard to watch on many levels

Fact you shouldn't care about: The actor that plays the first incarnation of Lucifer bought the novelization rights of the film for a dollar from the director/writer during filming.

                               (left to right, top to bottom, here's what's happening in these photos)

                              1. Lucifer in all his glory!

                              2. A Jesus with a horse head.

                              3. Nothing says Lucifer like unwanted sexual advances.

                              4. Death by dodge ball!

                              5. Lucifer drinking the blood of the sacrifice he made...to himself...

                              6. Even the zombies couldn't save this movie.

                              7. Lucifer in gym class.

                              8. Innocent bystanders spontaneously bleeding.

                              9. This is what happens when you stab Lucifer with a glowing thing.

                            10. This also happens when you stab Lucifer with a glowing thing.

                            11. Lucifer looking fabulous....while making a sacrifice...to himself...

                            12. Stigmata everywhere! In your eye.....

                            13. .....on your Grandma.

                            14. Passion play Jesus being struck by lightning.

                            15. ...your guess is as good as mine...

                       

A Return to Salem’s Lot

                 

              
























We love Larry Cohen (director) and Michael Moriarty (star), but this movie was a serious let down.  Moriarty is stiff, the plot is thin to say the least, and the action mostly bookends the movie. On the up side, the veteran actors and actresses steal the show; they deliver the best lines and bring levity to this bland horror movie.

The plot unfolds something like this:  Anthropologist Joe Weber moves to Salem’s Lot with his son for complicated and diluted reasons. The town is of course inhabited by vampires, and residents want Weber to write their “bible”. [Everybody knows anthropologists are MUCH better writers than vampires!] The son, meanwhile, becomes enchanted by the idea of becoming a vampire, having been seduced by one of the vampire children (Tara Reed). Only Nazi hunter Van Meer (Sam Fuller) can save the son, and rid Salem’s Lot of the vampire scourge, though it’s never clear why.

Things to watch for: Ever randomly changing footwear on the hero’s son. Rubber masked blue vampire inexplicably stalking the cast. The mom from A Nightmare on Elm Street. Elderly vampires feeding on live cows. Moriarty’s shirtless love scene…actually, you should turn away for that one.

What the filmmakers might have been thinking: Rubber masks work like make-up right?

What we learned: Vampires have a reflection, tolerate garlic, are terrible writers and can transform shoes. (Also; cows are immune to vampirism.)

Yep that’s: Sam Fuller

Some “That lady!” moments with:  Ronee Blakley (A Nightmare on Elm Street) and Tara Reed (The Big Lebowski).

Specs:

Previews: none

Tag line:  none

Choice line from the synopsis:  “Now get ready for A Return to Salem’s Lot---by quadrupling your life insurance.”

VHS release company:  Warner Home Video

VHS release:  1988

Original release:  1987

Our rating: Better with a loud group.

                                      (from left to right, top to bottom) 
                                1.    Our anthropological hero.
                                2.    Sam Fuller ladies and gentlemen!
                                3.    Our hero’s offspring
                                4.    Rubber vampire!
                                5.    Tara Reed.
                                6.    Rubber mask vampire, very scary.
                                7.    Some of our better cast members and a boom mike.
                                8.    Ronee Blakley and another boom mike.
                                9.    Some of the only action in the film.
                              10.  Good times had by some, melting had by others.
                              11.  Oh dang, I’ve been shot in the head!
                              12.  Well I may have bullets in my head, but my new tie makes it all better
                              13-15.  The sound guy on this movie really must have been short, or drunk.

Black Roses

(ahh, the gentle crotch grab scene...
wait, that wasn't in the movie!)

                                    (Watching the trailer is almost a substitute for watching the movie!)  

Have you ever wanted to see a movie featuring bad hair metal music that would haunt you for days that featured demon vs. human bare knuckle fist fights? Then have we got the movie for you! It opens on a concert venue scene with band Black Roses in full demon makeup and soon cut to what we assume is the band (now human) rolling into a small town in two mint Lamborghinis. From here in it’s all up or down hill depending what you want out of a movie. In short order we are introduced to incidental music hokier than a Saturday morning cartoon, a cast of "teens" including Johnny [He’s not 35 he’s 17, NO really! See, he doesn’t even have any side burns!]  and their hip, “with it” teacher.

The plot unfolds something like this: Black Roses wants to play a show in small town USA but of course, the small town parents don’t want them to. After the band plays anyway, the students are listless and delinquent. The hip teacher is mostly determined to get to the bottom of why, if nothing gets in his way or makes him sleepy.

Things to watch for: A 35 year old desperately trying to embody James Dean. Lip-syncing with the enunciation of Screech. Two regular guys, enjoying a nice glass of milk. Some choice Hanna Barbarra style sound effects. Lots of Dario Argento style lighting. A crane shot for every scene shot outdoors. A tennis ball chosen over a lamp as a weapon. A demon-possessed stereo eating a guy whole.

A “That guy!” moment with: Vincent “Big Pussy” Pastore (The Sopranos).

“Special Appearance”: Carmine Appicea. Who is that you ask? Well he’s the drummer in this movie's band as well as the co-writer of “Do You Think I’m Sexy”, was in the band Vanilla Fudge, and recorded on Paul Stanleys solo album. And that really just scratches the surface…

What the filmmakers might have been thinking: Ok, we have full use of a crane, two Lamborghinis, all these demon puppets & costumes…wanna make a movie?

What we learned: When music that bad has a following that big, you know the devil must be involved.

Specs:

Previews: Black Eagle, Obsession A Taste For Fear

Tag line: “Turn Up The Volume, Turn Down The Lights, But Don’t Watch It Alone!”

Choice line from synopsis: “THE SPECIAL EFFECTS ARE FANTASTIC.”

VHS release company: Imperial Entertainment Corp

Running time: 90 min

VHS release: 1988

Original release:  1988

Our rating: Better with a group.

Super Awesome Bonus Stuff!
Damien Now
Black Roses Song

(from top to bottom, left to right, what's happening in these photos)

1) Our hero about to...dose off?

2) See how hip this teacher is, he's wearing sunglasses inside!

3) Mr. Pastore being eaten by a speaker demon.

4) If you saw this thing I bet you'd throw a tennis ball at it too!

5) Concert attendees turned to zombies int one cut.

6) Our–AHEM–young Johnny.

7) Every bands favorite tour vehicle: the Lamborghini.