Knock Off Movies: Nightkiller

Released in Italy as Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3, this movie is way closer to a Nightmare on Elm Street rip off. This movie was also written and directed by the man responsible for Troll 2, a movie with zero trolls in it, so that alone could explain the odd miss-titling.

The plot unfolds something like this: A woman is attacked in her home by an intruder wearing a grotesque mask. The intruder torments the woman and attempts to kill her, but she manages to escape. She is promptly admitted to a hospital, but quickly released and is instantly kidnapped by another tormentor. This time her attacker has her trapped in his basement, and escape seems impossible...

The killer in his mask.

Full spoiler plot summation: [Serious spoilers, if you intend to sit through this torture-porn, then don't read this section as it spoils the "redeeming" payoff.] The woman's second tormentor turns out to be her husband who was working with her doctor and the police to get her to remember more about her initial assault. But since the audience is never told that incredibly important information, this seemed like a really twisted torture-porn where, ten mins before it ends, we find out this lady's own husband was inflicting horrible amounts psychological torture just to jog her memory for some bit of information that I guess the police needed.

We were talking a lot...: Maybe we talked over all the key duologue in this movie, but if it was that easy for us to miss, there honestly wasn't enough of it to convey the plot points. Usually if we talk over a movie, one of us will catch the key bits, especially when there's four of us watching, but we were all equally aghast at the final scene.

Reasons you should watch: I mean, I want someone else to watch this just to tell me if we missed some key duologue, but it's pretty rapey so keep that in mind before diving in.

Knock Off Movies: The Humanoid

This movie shouldn't have been as boring as it was but man, this movie was dull! Seriously, the photo montage below pretty well captures the intensity of this film.

The plot unfolds something like this: Star Wars meets Dr Frankenstien, but duller than you could ever imagine that being.

But the real reasons you should watch: A baby Richard Kiel, some intense versions of future fashion, a fantastic score from Ennio Morricone, some pretty elaborate sub-plots, and the most insane Darth Vader rip off we'll ever see.

See for yourself: The whole thing might or might not be on youtube right now...

Knock Off Movies: Passenger 57

When the world's most dangerous hijacker finally gets arrested what mode of transportation do authorities chose to transport him with? Airplane. And that's not the least believable thing that happens in this movie.

The plot unfolds something like this: Die Hard on a plane.

But the real reasons you should watch: Um... 90s Wesley Snipes and baby Tom Sizemore? There's also the strangest attempt by an actor to be Joe Don Baker...

Colette's end credits thoughts: "This movie could have ended like five times over." There are points in this movie where most of the bad guys leave the plane and I can't even remember what convoluted nonsense gets them all back on the plane! But that's exactly what happens. And I'm pretty sure it happens multiple times.

Knock Off Movies: Clones of Bruce Lee

There's a whole genre of Bruce Lee knock off movies (often referred to as "Brucesploitation"), but they're not knock offs of any movie in particular, they're movies featuring knock offs of the actor himself.

The plot unfolds something like this: Moments after his (drawn out, on screen) death, Bruce Lee is rushed to a facility where clones are made of him. His clones are then used by a villain as mercenaries to kill people... or something...

Tasteless scene alert: The first 8 or so mins of this movie follow a "fictional" Bruce Lee to an ER where bystanders gawk and emergency workers try to save him. Considering that this movie was intended to be viewed by fans of Bruce Lee, including a drawn-out theatrical version of his death seems like something you'd avoid rather than lead with.

Why we thought it would be good: I mean, Bolo Yeung and every known Bruce Lee look alike in one movie fighting each other, how could this movie disappoint?

How this movie disappointed us: It seems like someone took three false start Brucesploitation movies and edited the fight scenes together with some mad scientist stuff and called it a day. (And sadly, that makes this movie sound more exciting than it is.)

Knock Off Movies: Sudden Death

We watched this during our epic JCVD marathon and this one stands out, as Jean-Claude Van Damme is not the first actor you think of when you hear a movie revolves around hockey...

The plot unfolds something like this: It's basically Die Hard in a hockey arena.

But the real reasons you should watch: The cheese ball factor is very high as JCVD's character's kids are involved through the whole movie. Powers Boothe plays a spectacular villain. Apparently there's loads of hockey cameos. There's also a wonderful (and overly long) fight between JCVD and the Penguins' mascot, and in the final fight scene takes place in the arena's retractible dome!


Fun extra stuff we shouldn't know but do now: There is a novelization of this movie, and an audio book of said novel read by none other than Powers Boothe.

Knock Off Movies: Starcrash

This movie's trailer was a huge hit during our first Trailer Trash screening, and through total happenstance Trash Film Debauchery screened the movie later that month and it sold out. I'm willing to bet that no one in attendance was disappointed.

The plot unfolds something like this: Convoluted Star Wars.

But the real reason to watch: This movie is insane from top to bottom, and not without spectacle. The sets and costumes are epic (on a budget), most of the women wear laughable amounts of "clothes", John Barry wrote the score, there's some pretty brazen re-use of effects from within the movie, and the actors slice the ham pretty thick. Oh! And there's a baby Hasselhoff!

But seriously: This movie is so beyond description, give it a watch yourself! The full movie might be available on youtube... just sayin'...