Horror in the Woods: Grizzly

This movie started with so much promise, but ultimately it fell short of delivering on it's VERY promising set up. However, it wasn't a complete let down, even though it was pretty much Jaws with a bear...

The opening: Two women are breaking camp in the woods when an animal (presumably a bear) mauls each of them POV slasher style. The first woman gets it at the camp site, and the second woman takes cover inside a shack that the (presumably) bear literally tears apart before also killing her.

The next time we see that shack: It's all in one piece again and the bear has seemingly hung the woman's body from the rafters (before or after putting the shack back together, who can be sure) because she falls from the ceiling and freaks the hell of the rangers searching for the two women.

The actual plot: I couldn't really tell you, this one is aaaaaall over the place. But basically, it's Jaws in the woods with a bear.


The love interest that vanishes into thin air: A good chunk of the first half of the film is spent setting up a romance between our "hero" (pictured left) and a reporter. They finally kiss at one point, and then we literally never see her again. Very strange.

The bear's MO: At the start of the film it seems like the bear is strictly targeting women, so much so that the rangers discuss it at one point. And then, very suddenly, the bear decides to kill dudes, kids and other bears, and no one mentions the initial pattern again. Over all the bear seems to be killing indiscriminately, though the rangers are pretty sure the bear is hunting for food, never mind that the bear has already killed enough people to sustain him for a good three years...

Kinda surprisingly gory: Parts of this film are VERY gory in contrast to rest of the film. This is especially well illustrated in a scene where a little boy, innocently playing with a bunny in his yard, is mauled by the bear. The final shot of that scene: a substantial  hold on the kid's newly ripped off leg. It's SUPER graphic and absolutely doesn't fit with the humdrum tone of the rest of the flick.

And then, there was a rocket launcher: There's not much happening between bear kills (aside from ASININE dialogue), but in the last few mins of the film, the movie tries really hard to make up for that by EXPLODING A BEAR WITH A ROCKET LAUNCHER. That part is pretty undeniably fun.



via GIPHY

No One Speaks the Same Language: Equalizer 2000

Equalizer 2000 was not only Robert Patrick's earliest films, it was also an effort of a crew that ranged from a Phillipino director, to an Australian star, and many things between.

Baby Robert Patrick!

The movie: This is one of those Mad-Max rip off movies, this one takes place in the desert that was once Alaska where everyone is fighting over resources and lots of stuff blows up!

The language barriers: The star of this gem is Australian, much of the principal cast is American, and there's a few South Korean actors just to spice things up. The writers were an American and Filipino, the Director (Cirio H. Santiago, a longtime Corman producer) Filipino and much of the crew also...

A gun with some guns stuck on it!

The result of those language barriers: There's a serious lack of story happening in this move, that just lead to much more action! (And, just in case you're wondering, the "Equalizer" is a giant gun built by the hero.)

The good news: This was far from anyone's first or last rodeo, so at least it didn't end anyone's career. Much of the crew were already staples in the film community in the Philippians and none of the cast were novice.  There was a young Robert Patrick and a seasoned Vic Diaz, but a huge surprise came from the main lead, Richard Norton who has a long stunt coordinator resume, most recently working on (and in this case appearing in) Mad Max: Fury Road and Suicide Squad.

Vic Diaz!

Further learning: The documentary Machete Maidens Unleashed covers some of the amazingness that came out of the Phillipens from this era. It's made by the same documentary crew as Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films, and Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation!.