Horror in the Woods: The Burning

Another round of Tape Freaks guest writing by Izzi Xiques:

This 80s slasher takes place at a summer camp where a former camp groundskeeper (Cropsy) was the victim of a prank gone seriously awry many years before. What was the said prank? The campers thought it would be HILARIOUS to wake Cropsy up by tossing a flaming skull into his cabin. For some reason they weren't expecting Cropsy (or anything else) to catch on fire, but that's exactly what happened! Five years later, horribly disfigured and garden shears in hand, Cropsy's begins his quest for revenge against a backdrop of POVs shots, continuity errors, and adults portraying teenagers.


One of the fantastically gory highlights of this film is a massacre scene that takes place in broad daylight, in a canoe, with a bunch of teenagers. We're treated to fingers getting chopped off (fully in frame), someone getting garden shears through the neck, and blood basically exploding out of campers. It's glorious. And, that particular scene was what got the film on the UK's “video nasties” banned list!

But as much as the special effects bring to this film (thanks to a young Tom Savini's reluctance to do the Friday the 13th sequel) the score brings that much more. Personally, I consider the main theme of this film to be nothing other than classic. The score was composed by Rick Wakeman, who's name you might recognize for a number of reasons, but the most notable reason would be he was the keyboardist for the band Yes. (Which should give you an idea as to how fantastic this score is, I mean, classic prog rock meets 80’s slasher score? What more could you want!?)

This film is also notable for it’s pre-stardom cast, writers, and producer. We get treated to baby Jason Alexander, Fisher Stevens, and Holly Hunter (for a brief second). But this film was also what launched the Weinstein Corporation! Bob and Harvey both had a hand in writing this slasher (and Harvey produced) and it was the very first film project they collaborated on.

This film also has often been brushed off as a Friday the 13th rip off, but it was apparently written before Friday was released, and was based off of a classic campfire tale that circulated around the east coast about “Cropsey” a maniac who was reported to have murdered children in a wooded Staten Island. That makes this movie all the more creepy and that much more worthy of it's cult classic status!

Horror in the Woods: Grizzly

This movie started with so much promise, but ultimately it fell short of delivering on it's VERY promising set up. However, it wasn't a complete let down, even though it was pretty much Jaws with a bear...

The opening: Two women are breaking camp in the woods when an animal (presumably a bear) mauls each of them POV slasher style. The first woman gets it at the camp site, and the second woman takes cover inside a shack that the (presumably) bear literally tears apart before also killing her.

The next time we see that shack: It's all in one piece again and the bear has seemingly hung the woman's body from the rafters (before or after putting the shack back together, who can be sure) because she falls from the ceiling and freaks the hell of the rangers searching for the two women.

The actual plot: I couldn't really tell you, this one is aaaaaall over the place. But basically, it's Jaws in the woods with a bear.


The love interest that vanishes into thin air: A good chunk of the first half of the film is spent setting up a romance between our "hero" (pictured left) and a reporter. They finally kiss at one point, and then we literally never see her again. Very strange.

The bear's MO: At the start of the film it seems like the bear is strictly targeting women, so much so that the rangers discuss it at one point. And then, very suddenly, the bear decides to kill dudes, kids and other bears, and no one mentions the initial pattern again. Over all the bear seems to be killing indiscriminately, though the rangers are pretty sure the bear is hunting for food, never mind that the bear has already killed enough people to sustain him for a good three years...

Kinda surprisingly gory: Parts of this film are VERY gory in contrast to rest of the film. This is especially well illustrated in a scene where a little boy, innocently playing with a bunny in his yard, is mauled by the bear. The final shot of that scene: a substantial  hold on the kid's newly ripped off leg. It's SUPER graphic and absolutely doesn't fit with the humdrum tone of the rest of the flick.

And then, there was a rocket launcher: There's not much happening between bear kills (aside from ASININE dialogue), but in the last few mins of the film, the movie tries really hard to make up for that by EXPLODING A BEAR WITH A ROCKET LAUNCHER. That part is pretty undeniably fun.



via GIPHY

Horror in the Woods: Friday the 13th

It's a controversial opinion, but the first Friday will always be my favorite. You want to know why? I'll tell ya:

Everyone is playing true to age. There are no 40 year olds playing teenagers in this movie, just a bunch of people in their early 20s playing characters roughly the same age.

It's basically a who-done-it murder mystery with gory kills. A couple times this film utilizes the classic murder mystery setup of POV killer murdering people who know the killer personally, but also someone who the audience is never introduced to, so not only do you get the spear through the fucking neck style never-saw-that-coming kills, you also get the "oh, it's you, what are you doing here" kills! Best of both worlds.

It's a slow burn with a substantial on screen body count. There's lots of atmospheric stalking and misdirect-style character building, interspersed with people getting axed to the head.

[Spoilers, skip the rest of this write-up if you've not seen the movie.]

It's kind of the horror movie version of an old joke. There's an old joke that goes something like this: A father and son are in a car crash. The father is killed instantly but the son is rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery. As the boy is wheeled into the operating room, the surgeon exclaims, “I can’t operate—that boy is my son!” The punch line? The surgeon is the boy's mother. Lots of people break themselves in half trying to figure that simple joke out, and it says a lot about people's gender bias. The revel of the killer's identity at the end of this film doesn't necessarily speak to the audience's bias (see the who-done-it point above) but it does make you think back and wonder if you missed clues because you'd never considered the killer could be female.

There's no supernatural element. In the later installments of this franchise there's consistent supernatural elements bringing Jason back to life, but in this one it's just a lady who wants the camp to stay empty. You don't have to suspend much disbelief to get on board!

Blacksploitation: Abby

This possession movie was notoriously difficult to find due to Warner Bros. suing American International over the claim that Abby was a direct rip-off of their film the Exorcist. Warner won that suit, so when we finally sat down to watch this, we were fully expecting a blatant Exorcist rip-off. Funny thing though? The only real similarities between Abby and the Exorcist are that someone gets possessed by a demon and then exorcised. Full stop. 

The plot unfolds something like this: Abby's father in-law (and pro bono exorcist), Bishop Garnet Williams, is away on an archaeological dig in Nigeria when he (pretty recklessly) releases a demon from it's millennia old prison. This is bad for Abby and her husband, Reverend Emmett Williams; they're blissfully unaware of the wrath the Bishop has inadvertently unleashed (that's now inexplicably traveling across ocean to their exact location). But it's especially bad for Abby, as this sex-crazed demon has singled her our for possession, making her sessions as a couples counselor SUPER awkward. Bishop Williams must get back to the States to exorcise this demon and return it to it's eternal prison, before it's too late for Abby!

Carol Speed as Abby: Some of the elements of this film are over the top cheesy, but Speed's performance is not on that list. She does a fantastic job playing all the facets of this character, and she wrote and preformed a song she sings in one of the church scenes in the flick to boot! That kind of makes her the anti-Vanity...

Who is Eshu?: There's a long opening to this film that explains the god Eshu, leading us to believe that this was going to come into serious play later in the film. And most of the film seems to build up to that, until the last 10 mins when it's revealed–in full Scooby Doo fashion–that it was a demon pretending to be Eshu the whole time! It leaves viewers with a sort of "oh, um... alright I guess" feeling in the middle of the film's finale.

Cast and crew: Yet another Blacksploitation film that features most of it's Black talent in front of the lens rather than behind it. But, actors of note in this movie are definitely co-stars William Marshall and Austin Stoker!

Special effects: There's some fun possession effects in this film (stuff flying around, explosions, etc.), but Abby's makeup is aaaaallll over the place. There's quick cuts to what looks like cheesy rubber masks throughout the film, but for most of the film her makeup is pretty toned down and effectively creepy. (Honestly the images they flash to (pictured to the right and below) look like they were screen tests for versions of the makeup they abandoned.)

Your fave is problematic: This movie doesn't hide it's anti-feminism very well. Abby is a damsel in distress who must be saved not just by one man, but two. When she's possessed she embodies and amplifies some of the fears that men had during the women's rights movement of the 60s (i.e. Abby becomes sex-crazed and independent). And when she's "saved" in the end, it's literally the end of her character's importance. There's a tacked on (and completely nonsensical) epilogue where she has some incidental duologue, but after she's no longer possessed, the men are the only ones talking about it. It's seriously frustrating because this isn't a terrible movie otherwise. 

Warner Bros and their obsession with having the only possession movie: Abby wasn't the only possession movie that tried to ride the coattails of the Exorcist, but this seems to be the only one that actually got pulled from the market. We've seen movies that more closely rip off the WB film, so it makes us wonder: why this one and not the others? (Just kidding, we know why.)

Over all: This movie should be on more b-horror required viewing lists. It's bad, fun, cheesy, entertaining, sometimes even good, all in the right doses. It's too bad that Warner decided to create a sub-genre of horror just to keep it to themselves. 

Kids Playing Kids: Mixtape

Tim made a mixtape of 10 music cues taken from horror movies that feature kids, leave a comment if you can identify them all!

Suspira

If ever there was a more visually striking horror movie, we have not seen it. Enormous sets pulsate with so much vivid color they seem alive in their own rite; lights cast red and blue glows from impossible sources, a forest surrounds the school grounds seemingly plucked from someone's nightmare, and don't even get us started on the score!

The plot unfolds something like this: Suzy Bannion has been accepted to a prestigious dance school, and even before she steps foot in the building, strange things start happening. A girl disappears into the night, teachers ritualistically gather at all hours, people die left and right, and nobody seem too bothered by any of it. Suzy's dorm-mate is determined to figure out what's really happening; but then she goes missing as well. That leaves Suzy to put the pieces together herself before she's consumed by mysteriousness as well.

Reasons to watch: This is one of the last films to be shot using the Technicolor process, making it as richly beautiful as it is creatively gory. The set designs were designed with the knowledge this would be shot in Technicolor and are vibrant to the point of glowing. There's some intense gore and drawn out kills. And a twist ending that doesn't make sense, but is pretty fun anyway.



Yup, that's: Jessica Harper (Phantom of the Paradise, Pennies from Heaven), and Joan Bennett (Dark Shadows).



The soundtrack: This Goblin score strays from their signature sound making this more effectively creepy, atmospheric, and largely more haunting than most of their horror scores.

Most creative kills: One of the dancers is killed by room full of razor wire. A woman is pulled through one pain of glass, and then is pushed through another. A dog abruptly, and mortally, turns on a human...

How do we really feel about this film: This film never fails to stir up our creative juices, we can't recommend it enough!

Lucio Fulci is Rated X: City of the Living Dead

This movie opens with a séance so intense the medium dies of fright. What scared her so badly? She had a vision of a priest hanging himself in the church's cemetery and consequently that opened the gates of hell. And that would be all well and good (so to speak) if the medium didn't wake up in a coffin having been burred alive two scenes later. Before you ask, this movie does takes place in the 1980s when people routinely have autopsy preformed when they die under mysterious circumstances and are embalmed before being burred. That she would awake after her burial is asking for a pretty large suspension of disbelief, even for a Fulci movie. 

But, as this is a Fulci movie, that point of contention is made up for with rich atmosphere, a looming sense of other worldly dread, a fantastic score from Fabio Frizzi, and of course, horrifying gore.

There is so much gore.

And not just the standard Fulci effects and over the top zombifications, there's also a scene where a man dies from being drilled straight through the head, there are many tears of blood, there's even a room full of maggots! So full. And those aren't the only maggots in the film.

So many maggots.

This movie is also the first in the “unofficial” Gates of Hell trilogy. The second being The Beyond and the third would be The House by the Cemetery (though that might be why it's “unofficially” a trilogy as they never talk about "the gates of hell" in House). The thin (and at time straight up goofy) plot gives this film a handicap, but it pretty well lays the foundation for how amazing The Beyond turned out. It also gives The Beyond a run for it's money in the well-that-was-a-confusing-ending department...

So confusing.

But it truly, watching this movie fully prepared for it's flaws leaves you free to more thoroughly enjoy the great elements abundant throughout the film. (There's so much gore and grossness! So much!) And you can enjoy all the grossness in restored glory, so you'll see every single maggot!

Seriously, so many maggots.


Lucio Fulci is Rated X: 

City of the Living Dead

Mon Oct 12 7:00 9:00
Tue Oct 13 7:00 9:00 

@ Trylon microcinema, tickets $8 (or snag a discount card at $25 for 5 movies!)

Genere Mashing: Housebound

If you've ever enjoyed a horror-comedy, haunting, or coming of age movie, Housebound will not let you down. Full of original ideas, fleshed out characters, and amazing twists and turns, this has quickly become one of our favorite movies to introduce to new viewers first hand.

The plot unfolds something like this: Kylie Bucknell has gotten herself arrested botching an ATM burglary and is sentenced to house arrest. While enduring her annoying mother and her "cabbage in a sweater" stepdad, she stumbles onto a decade old murder mystery that seemingly only she can solve.

Trope it is not: Though this movie draws on a classic set up, there is nothing classic about the execution.

Hollywood, Remake City: The remake is already in the works, but don't bother waiting for the US to ruin it for you, see the New Zealand version.

Reasons to watch: Amazing insults and reactions from every cast member, fantastic balance between creepy and funny, and amazing comedic timing.

Genre Mashing: Botched

This is one of those movies that's hard to talk about if you've not seen it. It's one best watched with no prior knowledge whatsoever. So, if you trust us, and you should, stop reading this and watch Botched right now! But if you need some further prodding, read on, but know even without spoilers, there are spoilers...

Plot starts out like this: Ritchie (Stephen Dorff) is having a string of bad luck. He's got one last chance to pay off a family debt to Russian mobsters by pulling a heist for them in a highrise in Moscow. The heist goes belly up when building security stops the elevator the thieves are riding on a floor of the building that's under renovation. And then shit gets seriously weird.

What to watch for: Plot twists you couldn't predict if you tried, fantastic casting, and loads of blood.

What we will tell you: This is the best heist-gone-wrong movie ever made.

80's Horror Mixtape!

I quickly made another mixtape to listen to while driving to the Mall of America tomorrow night  for Night of the Creeps (and super secret mystery movie). But as a bonus its a perfect little mix to get yourself into the Halloween mood! Its all 80's Horror gems.  Enjoy.

Dan O'Bannon

For someone with only eleven screen writing and two directing credits, Dan O'Bannon has an impressive cannon. He wrote the screenplays for Alien, Total Recall, Invaders from Mars, Lifeforce and directed the cult classic Return of the Living Dead.

O'Bannon career started by attended USC with John Carpenter, and working on Carpenter's Dark Star doing production design, supervising the special effects, editing, and even appearing as one of four actors on screen. His next gig was was overseeing the special effects on the unfortunately doomed Alejandro Jodorowsky's Dune. Luckily, the failure of that project left O'Bannon broke, homeless, and sleeping on the couch of Ronald Shusett, with whom he wrote the screenplay to Alien. While trying to get that screenplay into production, O'Bannon worked his last effects gig on Star Wars, before going on to write and direct other influential (though lesser known) films. He worked on Heavy Metal, wrote Toby Hooper's Lifeforce, directed the punk zombie classic Return of the Living Dead, and worked again with Ronald Shusett on adapting We Can Remember It For You Wholesale into Total Recall.


This 3rd of July, the dudes at Horror for the Holidays are screening Return of the Living Dead at the Theaters of MOA, the film itself takes place on July 3rd, and we can't think of a better day to see it again, or for the first time, on the big screen! (We've never been aware of any theater in town screening it, but if they have, we've never seen it in the theater.) Come down and appreciate the strange career of Dan O'Bannon with us, and get ready to quote this flick all weekend long!


Return of the Living Dead, Theatres at MOA, $5

The Zombie fad started for a reason...

These days zombies are co-opted more than bacon. But, there are zombie films out there that still hold their own, even in an exceptionally over-saturated market. Here are some of our favorite zombie movies in no particular order:

Dawn of the Dead – This is the movie that makes you wish you could live in a mall, while you slowly realize how hollow our materialistic lives truly are. Oh, and also there are tons of blue zombies!

The Beyond – For us, this is a pretty seminal Italian zombie movie. It takes place in 1970s New Orleans, it's 100% over dubbed, it never makes a lick of sense, the soundtrack is amazing, the story is strung together with more ambiance than substance, and it's chock full of amazing kills.

Fido – This moive takes place in the aftermath of a zombie apoclypse, an apocolyps that has apparently bathed survivors in the squeaky-clean glow of 1950s Americana. A heart warming boy-and-his-dog style entry to the zombie genre that hits its mark like you wouldn't expect.

Shaun of the Dead – This movie is the best example of genre-mixing: part buddy movie, part coming of age movie, part rom-com, and all zombie horror. (If you have never seen it in the theater, keep an eye on TrylonMicrocenama's upcoming flicks!)

Return of the Living Dead – Ever shuffled along moaning out for “braaaaains”? Well, you can thank this movie for that idea! Full of gems that have been nodded to in everything from The Simpsons to Mars Needs Moms. (Random fact: this movie takes place on July 3rd. The folks over at Horror for the Holidays are honoring that fact this year by screening it this July 3rd!)






Oh, and Undead and Dead Alive. And if you count Night of the Creeps and 28 Days later as zombie movies, then those as well! We could go on and on, but really, as annoying as some of the zombification-of-everything has gotten, it's important to remember that it all comes from a good place! Catch Return of the Living Dead on the big screen and get back to your roots!

The Shining everything!

Awhile back Mondo put out their Room 237 clothing line and fairly quickly sold every single item. Lucky for us, Mondo was never the only name in the clothing-designed-from-famous-carpets business! The internet offers us everything from ties, to tee shirts, to shorts, to sport coats, to chef coats, to pants, to skirts, to more shorts, to belt buckles, to socks, and so on forever!

Now you might be wondering where we found so many amazing Overlook carpet themed items. Most of them came from the best tumblr you'll ever find on the subject of The Shining: The Overlook Hotel. It's wonderfully curated with posts about the movie's actors, wardrobe, set design, behind the scenes, current fashion, locations, homages, you name it! Check them out (or go on a impulse shopping spree) and get yourself pumped for The Shining on the big screen!

TheShining @ MOA Theaters, June 15^th, 7:30pm, $5

Foreign-body birthing movies.

Not familiar with the “foreign-body birth” genre? Well, I kinda coined the term to write this, but it refers to any movie where a woman (or theoretically a man, but it's Mother's day folks!) is forcibly or corrosively impregnated by an alien/robot/demon/were-kangaroo, carries the fetus to term, and births whatever creature results from the coupling.

Now that you're familiar with the genre, I'll tell you: Never, in the history of cinema, has there been a compelling reason to show a foreign-body birth on film. Never has anyone I know ever exclaimed: “Oh my god! The birthing scene though! So amazing right?!”

What's that? A “foreign-body” birth is necessary for your story? Well, go right a head and put that in there if it helps you tell your story. But for the love of everything not cringe-worthy; do not show it on screen.

No one want's to see them.

They're uncomfortable, they're 100% not needed to convey ideas, and they're usually written by men. Men don't have a natural fear of giving birth like women do, and I get the curiosity to explore things you'll never be able to tangibly experience. Toying with biology is common place in storytelling, but seriously, really, truly; we do not need to see a non-human creatures coming out of a vag.

And, while we're on this topic, we don't need rape in movies either.

Never,

never,

never,

ever.

So, how about we spend this Mother's Day examining how amazingly disrespectful it is to force things into or out of vaginas. It's degrading to not only to the women on screen, but the people involved at all points of the creative process. There are better ways to convey pure evil, helplessness, power recovery, inhumanity, et. al. without relying on these tropes, so let's keep them out of our pop-culture. Let's do it for our moms, sisters, wives, neighbors, co-workers, and audience members at large. Let's do it not just because it's the right thing, let's do it because there are far cleverer ways to convey these ideas.

Happy Mothers day! And if you don't celebrate greeting card holidays, happy birthday to everyone born in May, including my mom!

-Colette

The amazing art of the Tim Kincaid movies 1986-89

Tim Kincaid and the Kansas City Trilogy.

It's easy to write off artists who's work doesn't live up to the cultural standard of “good”. But, quite often, you find amazing things when you investigate those creating off the beaten path. Tim Kincaid does not disappoint in that arena.

If you're not sure who Tim Kincaid is, we completely understand. Most of his film career he wrote-directed porn films under the name Joe Gauge but, for a brief stint in the late 80s he made seven fantastically bad straight-to-video genera movies. Breeders, Robot Holocaust, and Mutant Hunt are some of his better know written-directed works, but he's also responsible for Necropolis and Enemy Territory (the only movie to star Ray Parker Jr.) as a result of his producing. His movies were shot with almost no budget, contain spectacularly awkward performances, have production levels impossible to recreate while trying, and perfectly incapsulate the singular time in history where most of the country was simultaneously frightened of and intrigued by New York City; and so far, we love them all!

Though, as bad as they are, all of these cult classics retain their popularity today regularly selling for $80 on VHS, when you can find them. But despite all this, Tim Kincaid's legacy does not lie outside his porn stint.

    

In the early 70s, when the longstanding gay male stereotype in porn (and the rest of cinema) was “effeminate” city-living men, Tim Kincaid made porn films about blue collar workers hooking up in working class settings. His portrayals of gay men as people from all walks of life, influenced a generation of people. As a result, the “Kansas City Trilogy" is Tim Kincaid's true legacy. He makes porn again today, and he discusses some of the modern “taboos” he's breaking in this great interview with BUTT magazine . He also talks about making the Kansas City Trilogy and leaving porn to do “mainstream” work while he and his wife raised their sons (one of whom now makes soundtracks for his porn flicks).

All these discoveries have made us extra excited to watch a Tim Kincaid classic on the big screen. Come see it with us this weekend after a lovely Mother's Day dinner!

Breeders, Sunday May 11^th (Mother's Day!!) @ Theaters at MOA $5, 7:30

Three Brothers from the Bronx.

Some practical effects fans know the Chiodo Bros. by name, but even if you don't know who they are, you've likely seen their work. From Sabrina the Teenage Witch to Team America World Police they have been using their unique collection of talents to create cult icons. Some of my favorite monsters from the 80s were created by these guys [LIST MONSTERS], but my personal favorites would have to be Critters and Killer Klowns from Outer Space.

Critters was their first feature film gig, and Killer Klowns from Outer Space is their only directorial venture. Both Critters and Killer Klowns stand out in an era that was saturated with monsters, creatures, and aliens, their work is colorful, whimsical, and fun while still remaining menacing. There's a cartoon aesthetic to their designs (something that likely comes from their animation background) that makes their creatures jump off the screen.

Where Critters keeps the over all tone on the menacing side, Killer Klowns from Outer Space gives you the creeps while letting you laugh about it. They took an over-the-top premise of killer clowns and added the amazing element of making them also be space aliens who just happen to look like clowns. It's the perfect balance of wild premise, stellar effects, and good production: if you've not seen it, you're missing out on an unparallelled comedy horror movie. 

The brothers have continued working on other people's film projects and although their contributions to things like Elf and Pee Wee's Big Adventure are fantastic, I would love to see them work on something they have more control again! We also hope their contributions to the movie and television world continue well into the future, because if there's one thing we love, it's practical effects and puppetry!