Class of 1999 II: The Substitute

We don't want to give too much away because Trash Films is showing it in April, but this one's a doozie.

The plot unfolds something like this: Apparently, after all the cyborg-teachers were destroyed in the last movie, one lone cyborg-teacher remains, and he's out to substitute teach with avangence.




That-guy moment with: Sasha Mitchell who you might recognize as Patrick Duffy's nephew on the tv shows Step by Step and Dallas.







Totally teenagers, not thirty-somethings: There's some excellent adults playing over-zealous teens in this movie. (They're also stunt guys so in a few cases, it leads to extra awesomeness!)







The director: Spiro Razatos is mainly a stunt coordinator and second unit director and his credits for those things are all over the map. Captain America: Winter Soldier, Fast Five, X-men First Class, The Expendables, Hook, 976-EVIL II, Maniac Cop, and Maniac Cop 2 just to name a few.

Some reasons to watch: The most amazing bed room setup in the history of 90s cinema. Amazing "future" teen gangs. Lots of stuff blowing up and some fun stunt work. And an obligatory game of paint ball turned deadly.

Class of 1999 II: The Substitute at Trylon microcinema, Wednesday, April 20th @ 7:00pm, only 5$!

Rubber

Now the tire from Rubber is obviously not a machine, but it fits the theme enough for us! Also Rubber is one of those weird-with-heart movies we really like, and this is an excuse to talk about it!


The plot unfolds something like this: Um... ok, so...uh... Ok, there's a tire, and people in the desert are watching it... and....

There's no reasonable way to explain this movie: Rubber doesn't have a traditional plot. Things happen and are connected, but the narrative breaks so many rules it's really hard to explain.  Attempting to explain this movie is kind of like trying to explain Cyriak, and the best way I've seen that described was thusly: Sometimes, I suspect that [Cyriak] is the internet, trying to communicate with us in a language it thinks we understand. Watching Rubber (and most of Quentin Dupieux's movies) is like watching film attempt to communicate with us using it's own language.

The director on the subject of Rubber: "I hate movies that are only stupid, all the time, or only smart," he said "I hate it. I like when everything is mixed together. Life is not only one thing. You can be happy but at the same time have strange feelings. It's exactly what I'm trying to do, and I want to be very smart but very stupid. I want to be everything at the same time." [source]



Why we love it: It's weird, funny, self aware, and has an amazing soundtrack. It's a horror movie, but also a faux-heady avant–grade film that never takes itself too seriously.

Hardware

Ok, full disclosure here? This is not one of our favorite movies. THERE WE SAID IT! It's not terrible, we don't hate it, Tim still wants to give it one more watch, and we have lots of friends that love this film, so here's our thoughts on the matter.

The plot unfolds something like this: A salvage sculptor is about to get an intense surprise when her latest work comes to life after unwittingly using a part from an ultra-smart killer robot. Once it charges it's batteries, all hell will break loose.

Rock and roll cameos: Lemmy and Iggy Pop show up as a cabbie and radio DJ respectively.

Things to watch for: Genuinely unique set and costume design throughout the movie. Lots of great pyrotechnic stunt work. The over all mood of the film is something you won't find in many movies of the same time period. Really, not many studios were putting out movies like this in the early 90s.


The writer/director: Richard Stanley was in his early 20s when he directed this film, and that's pretty impressive all things considered.


Stealing from comics: Stanley did lose a suit that claimed he borrowed heavily from this comic, though that comic is horrible and pretty misogynistic where Hardware is not, the basic story is very similar.

 What we learned: You can't please everyone all the time.

Second Clue: March's Screening

Clue #2: The hero in our movie is a downtrodden repairman.


Tape Freaks Presents: March 2nd Mystery Movie! at the Trylon microcinema, Wednesday, March 2nd @ 7:00pm, only $5!

Purchase advance ticket here

Eve of Destruction

This has been in our pile of options to watch every time we've had people over to watch movies since we played the trailer in the first Trailer Trash, but we only got around to watching it the other night. It's very possible we let this one build up too much...

The plot unfolds something like this: A surveillance android sent out on her inaugural test mission only to get damaged and haver her handler gets killed in the cross fires of a bank robbery. Eve is left completely alone to figure out what to do next. Having been modeled entirely after her creator, Eve sets out on her own mission to realize some of her creator's unrealized fantasies. Her creator and Gregory Hines are the only people who can stop her.

We wish it had been more exciting: That premise is kind of dull. Eve gets dolled up, hits a bar to pick up guys, hunts down "her" alcoholic father, and travels cross-country to see "her" kid and ex-husband. It's not the kind of thing that keeps you on the edge of your seat. (Oh, but at some point a nuclear bomb embedded in her spine is accidentally armed, so there's at least some kind of tension.)












Not for lack of trying: Gregory
Hines and Renée Soutendijk are pretty energetic with their characters, and there's some fun action and explosions throughout.

What we wish: If the original mission had been important in some way (rather than an inane test) there could have been some exciting tension in this flick.

Moontrap

Oh boy, this one hurt. The box sounded good (Bruce Campbell, Walter Koeing, plus it won some kind of participation award, they don't just hand those things out!) but there wasn't a lick of sense made through the whole film. It was full of action and lots of stuff happens, but none of that stuff is tied together in any meaningful way.

The plot unfolds something like this: After ten mins of stock footage of the Apollo 11 Moon mission, sentient machine creatures try and fail to capture Apollo's Lunar Module. The robot creatures wait patiently for someone to return and repair the equipment, what their endgame is, no one knows...

Sounds simple, but there's more: Astronauts Grant (Koenig) and Tanner (Campbell) are on a non-disctipt mission that takes them near the Moon. While nearing the dark side of the Moon they discover a GIANT derelict spaceship and are ordered to check it out. (How people couldn't see something that size from earth, we'll never know.) They find a small football-shaped thing and a skeleton (that happen to float by while Grant is outside the ship) and bring them back to Earth. Once they're back on the planet, the "football" cracks open and a small robot jumps out. The newly hatched robot begins scavenging materials (including that skeleton) to build itself into a much bigger, much more menacing robot.

Ok, then what?: After the robot gets to a properly menacing size, it wreaks havoc for about 9 mins, and then is destroyed. That's when a second recon mission to the Moon is planned, and if you think I'm giving a bunch of stuff away; that's just the first 20 mins of the movie.


Reasons to watch: For a painful movie, there's a lot of action making it an entertaining painful. There's some pretty neat effects, and Bruce Campbell in his prime!

Movies it likely inspired: Promethius. There's actually a scene where the astronauts find an abandon structure on the Moon, and upon entering the structure, they take their helmets off. Just like a real astronaut would!

But did we like it: We were sort of split on this one, but our general take is that it's not the kind of movie you should attempt to watch alone. Get your self a space-loving watching buddy and prepare to find your enjoyment in everything but the plot!

Chopping Mall

This is a favorite of Chris' (who we were working with over at the Mall), he even played it as a mystery movie once after a Horror for the Holidays! If you've not seen it, put it high up on your list of things to watch

The plot unfolds something like this: A group of teenagers working at their local mall decide to have a slumber party in the furniture store. Unfortunatly for them, mall security has implamented their new security-bots this same night. Likely, everything will be fine though. Unless lighting strikes or something...

Things to watch for: Lots of action amidst the horror. Amazing 80s robot technology. A nice balance of shirtless dudes and ladies. One of the greatest head explosions committed to film. Some epically obnoxious dude-bro gum chewing.


Soundtrack: The soundtrack is also fantastic, if you like awesome 80s synth stuff! (And why wouldn't you?)

That-guy moments with the Corman crew:Gerrit Graham, and the Corman crew Dick Miller, and Paul Bartel and Mary Woronov (my faves)!










Original title: Killbots (the more fitting title in our opinion).

The Car

This movie has been on our "to watch" list forever and having seen it, we really should have watched it earlier!

The plot unfolds something like this: A murderous car descends on a bustling small town in Utah. Local law enforcement are on the case, but anyone who stands in the car's way won't stand there long. Will they be able to stop it while there are towns people left to save?

Hey isn't that: James Brolin, R.G. Armstrong, Ronny Cox, and Kim Richards?

Things to watch for: A car that can hear insults and holds a grudge, but won't cross into a grave yard. Women taunting a car after it stops chasing them and the children they're protecting. Tons of impressive Ozploitation-style stunt driving.

Well that was likely not planned: During a scene that involves a marching band's worth of children peppered with 6 or so horses, man gets trampled by a horse on camera. He must have ended up fine if it made the final cut, but it's pretty hairy.

Happy things we didn't expect: There are three Native American characters in this film, two are police officers and the other is a witness to a crime. And after they were introduced, we waited for the expected horrible tropes to unfold, but they never did. All the Native Americans were portrayed by actual Native American actors, not one of them ended up a wise sage or magical in any way, each of them was treated with respect by their peers, but they did have to deal with racism from the one overtly racist (and misogynist) towns person. (Additionally happy: none of the Native American or female characters were dismissed out of hand when their characters added something to the general conversation.) We held our breath the whole movie but blatant misogyny and racism never made an appearance. (It's not a perfect film on this front, but especially for the time period it's impressively forward.)



What we learned: It was possible to make movies in the 1970s that weren't totally horrible to women or minorities! Whodathunk?

Bonus thing we learned: James Brolin may never have actually had a son, he likely just made a clone.

The same guy.

(If you want to check out The Car, we highly recommend the Scream Factory Blurry release, the transfer is great and there's an ample amount of bonus features.)

Trash Film Debauchry

Have you heard of Trash Film Debauchry? Well you should have! Trash Films screens every third Wednesday* at the Trylon microcinema and as the name suggests, there're hosts to some amazing gems.

This month TFD is screening Abraxas: Guardians of the Universe and friend, it's a sight to behold. We had the trailer for this gem in Trailer Trash Vhs and it was an audience fave. (It also stars one Jesse Ventura and that alone makes it required viewing in this state!)

We'll likely see you there but grab your ticket ahead of time, Trash Films sell out more and more these days...

ABRAXAS: GUARDIANS OF THE UNIVERSE, Trylon microcinema, Wednesday Feb 24th @ 7:00pm, only 5$!

*Abraxas screens on the fourth Wed, but that's the exception to the rule here!

Maximum Overdrive

If you've ever thought that drugs or alcohol were the key to your creativity, sit down and watch Maximum Overdrive. Not only are the viewers of this movie subjected to some major atrocities, the people behind the scenes didn't fair much better. One crew member lost an eye and another was almost splattered by a truck, all because of the recklessness of the drugged out director.

Yup, that's an electric carving knife.

The plot unfolds something like this: A comet passing by the planet seems to have brought mechanical and electrical items to life. People are now fighting for their lives against the now (for some reason) murderous machines. But mostly, they're fighting semi-trucks...

The prologue: The written out prologue practically tells us the tail of a passing commit is responsible for machines coming to life. It also states that the tail of said commit will take like eight days to pass by, implying that is how long the mayhem will last.

The epilogue: The written out epilogue tells us that the comet in the prologue was a red herring, it was really aliens the whole time.


Things to watch for: Oh boy, there's so much. There's a very young Yardley Smith (the voice of Lisa Simpson) screaming her husband's name relentlessly. Giancarlo Esposito (Gus from Breaking Bad) is also in it for an odd moment. Frankie Fasion shows up (Manhunter, Silence of the Lambs, The Wire). Multiple charters appear out of thin air during the third act. Pumping gas becomes the most grueling job on the planet. A soda machine takes out a little league team. The "rules" regarding what can be possessed get muddy from the word go: trucks but not cars, hairdryers and electric knives, but not hardwired lighting, sprinklers but not indoor pluming, a machine gun but not a rocket launcher...

The top reason to not work for coked a out director: At one point during filming, Stephen King wouldn't allow the blade of a stunt lawn mower to be removed, even though the blade would never be shown on camera. So later, when the lawn mower ran into a block of wood, the blade sent splinters right into the DP's face. He lost an eye, but won a subsequent lawsuit. (Seriously, no matter what they whisper into your brain, drugs do not make you smarter.)

Good thing there's a blade on that thing or we'd never believe it was real!

What we learned: The survivors? They're still survivors.

First Clue: March's Screening

Clue #1: The theme for March's screening is, Machines Gone Haywire!

Machines can become possessed, sentient, murderers, and even seductresses. We're taking a look at some of our favorite machines-gone-bad movies in anticipation of our next screening!
Tape Freaks Presents: March 2nd Mystery Movie! at the Trylon microcinema, Wednesday, March 2nd @ 7:00pm, only $5!

Purchase advance ticket here.

Well That Was Unexpected...

Going into this week we were gonna be pretty excited if 40 people came to our first Trylon screening. Instead, we sold the place out before the doors even opened! You people are the BEST!! Even if you came down and didn't get in, thank you so much for your support. Seriously, we are taken aback and full of gratitude.

But we do feel bad for anyone who came down and was met with a "sold out" sign, so if you're coming to a screening in the future, please buy ticket ahead of time on the Trylon website. (If tickets are getting close to selling out a count down will appear and they have an email reminder option for screenings further out!) Also, if you got into the screening but didn't get buttons, we're so sorry! We really didn't think we were going to sell out the place on our first night. But we're going to be better prepared for next month. BUTTONS FOR EVERYONE!!

If you bought a poster, t-shirt, or a membership; thank you so much!!! We're excitedly planning the goodies for next month because of your enthusiasm. If you're kicking yourself for not picking up something at the show, everything is available on Tim's Storenvy page!

And lastly, we're so glad you all had fun! We set the bar pretty high but we like to start off the year with a bang because winter is HARD. Next month's movie will be a new flavor of weird, so stay tuned for clues all this month!

I think that's all, and I have really gone crazy with the exclamation points, so please enjoy these photos from the night and know were super excited for the next few months!

Third Clue: February's Screening

Clue #3: This movie prominently features Robert Z'Dar.

Tape Freaks Presents: February 3rd Mystery Movie! at the Trylon microcinema, Wednesday, Feb 3rd at 7:00pm, only $5! Purchase advance ticket here.