Guest post: Tim Holly is one half of Tape Freaks, but he's usually too busy designing and printing all our merchandise to write posts, luckily he found time this month to write this killer list post ♥
Jane Fonda's widely popular workout videos, coupled with the relentlessness of the 80s fitness obsession, cemented aerobics in our pop culture lexicon. From hugely successful movies like Flashdance to televised aerobics competitions, it's popularity in it's heyday was hard to ignore, causing many creators to jump on the bandwagon hoping to cash in while the checks were still good. Horror directors (never ones to shy away from he latest craze) were no exception, resulting in some strange inclusions in otherwise workout-free films. Here are some of our favorite horror films featuring aerobics:
Murder Rock (aka Dancing Death): Even the Italians got in on the aerobic action with Lucio Fulci making a murder-filled version of Flashdance. It takes place in a NYC dance school where a mystery killer is murdering the students by running them through the breast with a hat pin.
How did they shoehorn aerobics into this movie? This is more a dance school movie but the routines are
very much in the Aerobics vein.
Blood Diner: Jackie Kong's horror-comedy remake of Blood Feast is about a couple of brothers who run a diner that serves people to people. How did she shoehorn aerobics into this movie? While one of the brothers is out roaming the city hunting for fresh meat, there's a cut to a Nude Aerobics studio... A wacky collision course is bound to ensue!
The Stay Awake: A group of high school girls have organized a lock-in to raise money for their school. Unfortunately, they've also locked in a killer hellbent on revenge. How did they shoehorn aerobics into this movie? In the middle of the night the girls have an aerobics session in the empty gym, because why wouldn't they?
Death Spa: Someone is wreaking havoc on the worlds most needlessly high-tech gym, but is this a ghost haunting the gym, or just a maniacal killer making it look that way?
How did they shoehorn aerobics into this movie? Featuring aerobics in this one actually makes sense, considering the whole movie takes place in a gym. (However, the filmmakers clearly thought "spa" and "gym" were entirely interchangeable terms, which doesn't feel accurate.) This movie is wild in all the best ways, if you missed it when we screened it years ago, add it to your "to watch" list!
Killer Workout (aka Aerobicide): A pretty straightforward slasher-whodunnit movie where members of a local aerobics gym are picked off one at a time in interesting ways. How did they shoehorn aerobics into this movie? Again this one is entirely built around the aerobics so good on them for going all in! We found this one to be a little tedious when we watched it, but we should probably give it a second watch to be sure we judged it fairly.
Ninja III: The Domination: This installment is tenuously connected to the previous movies in the series. It opens on an incredible shootout and car chase on a golf course, that leads our titular ninja to a utility worker who's out on a call. The only way he can escape the hell raining down on him, is by possessing the utility worker so she'll go on a killing spree to seeking revenge on his behalf.
How on earth did they shoehorn aerobics into this movie? While picking off LAPD cops one by one, our utility worker finds time to maintain her day job
and her side gig as an aerobics instructor. Another one
we highly recommend, featuring Sho Kosugi, and a scene that will forever change the way you look at V8.
Bonus:
Linnea Quigley's Horror Workout: Horror icon Linnea Quigley decided to cash in on her notoriety and delivered her own version of the Jane Fonda workout tape. Complete with zombies and a slumber party massacre workout routine!
