Third Clue: June's Screening

Clue #3: June's movie was one of the movies we bought that birthed the Tape Freaks idea!

One day, a sixish years ago, went into this hole-in-the-wall video store in Fridley and hit the mother load of VHS tapes. I don't think I want to say how many VHS tapes we bought that day, but safe to say it was a lot. Though, it must not have been enough because we went back and bought many more. It was on this trip that we realized that the front part of the store with VHS for sale was not the meat of this business; this was a porn shop. And, it was owned by a serious republican who was drumming up volunteers for that years election through cold calling. It was the weirdest. But in order to justify buying many many VHS tapes, we started this blog, and the rest is history! Or anyway it's a story for another post.

Tape Freaks Presents: June's Mystery Movie! at the Trylon microcinema, Wednesday, June 1st @ 7:00pm, only $5!

Purchase advance ticket here.

No One Speaks The Same Language: Troll 2 & Best Worst Movie

There might not be a better documented instance of this month's theme than Troll 2. On it's face, this film is completely asinine (like the complete lack of trolls or any connection to original Troll movie, or the relentless and unexplained jabs at vegetarians), but the documentary Best Worst Movie reveals how some of those asininities ended up committed to film. And much of the how lies in the language barriers.

The language barriers: The director and crew on Troll 2 only spoke almost exclusively Italian, but in the small town in Utah where they came to film, almost no one spoke Italian. But the filmmakers decided to pluck some of the town folk out of obscurity and cast them in most of the main roles away, so a cast comprised almost completely of non-actors, with no film experience, were being directed by a crew who couldn't (and from the sounds of some accounts, couldn't be bothered to) communicate with them.

The result of those language barriers: The cast had no pretense about their performances, characters, or even what was going on around them, so what they committed to film ended up being some of the most genuine performances in a category that is usually dominated by ham-fisted and contrived performances.

Do you have to watch Troll 2 to appreciate this circus?: You can totally watch Best Worst Movie without seeing Troll 2, but I saw the documentary first and then couldn't stop myself from watching the film. And I'm pretty convinced that's the order to do it in if you can!

No One Speaks the Same Language: Bloodsport

Oh Bloodsport, you are the gift that keeps on giving.

The plot unfolds something like this: Frank Dux was raised from brith to do one thing; win the Kumete (a super secret no holds barred fight to the death tournament that totally 100% exists). And that's just what he's gonna do...

The language barriers: Frank Dux's Overinflated Ego vs. The Truth.

The problems the language barrier presented: Frank Dux might have been born with his confidence dialed up to 100, but Frank Dux is also 100% full of shit. He's bullshitter that believes his own bullshit, no less. The film is "based on" Frank Dux's "real life experiences", a claim that came into question INSTANTLY. Reporters have called into question everything from Dux manufacturing his own Kumete trophies to his "secret missions for our military", and everything in between. But there was also tension between Van Damme and Dux. JCVD was skeptical of Dux's over the top "training" sessions, and things got heated enough that Dux claims that it almost came to blows at one point.

Further reading: If you want to read more about all this (and really why wouldn't you) this LA Times aritcal from the time period Bloodsport was released is pretty no holds barred, and the podcast How Did This Get Made has an excellent live episode covering much of the circus as well.

Second Clue: June's Screening

Clue #2: June's movie stars one of the aforementioned Bruce Lee knock off actors, Bruce Li.

Tape Freaks Presents: June's Mystery Movie! at the Trylon microcinema, Wednesday, June 1st @ 7:00pm, only $5!

Purchase advance ticket here.

No One Speaks the Same Language: Breakn'

Sometimes language isn't so much spoken as it is expressed through dance.

The movie: A young jazz dancer teams up with two break-dancers and together they become a dance sensation.

The language barrier problems: The different dance backgrounds of stars Michael Chambers, Adolfo Quinones, and Lucinda Dickey gave way to some tensions on set. Dickey was raised by a classical dance instructor and had a heavy jazz background, while Chambers and Quinones started out self taught and developed a less ridged, but more physically intense, style. While trying to teach Dickey how to move like they did (which is the basic plot of the movie) they butted heads constantly. Dickey in interviews now even says that they had so little time to prep for the movie that she only got confidant in the technique while they were promoting the film, and even then she admitted, she wasn't all that great at it. Chambers and Quinones on the other hand were masters at their craft and were chosen for the rolls for that reason, so resentment was abound.

The sequel: Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo had language problems all it's own. By the actors recollection, tensions between them had died off, but that could have been because they had a common enemy: the script. The story for the sequel was so slapped together it's laugh-ability is legendary. Where the first movie was gritty and featured many actual street dancers, the sequel was basically a Busby Berkely movie set in the 80s. The hokey and sterile Electric Boogaloo lacked everything heartfelt and human that made the first film a success.

Random thing I learned researching this: Adolfo Quinones was supposed to have the Lorenzo Lallams role in Body Rock, which would have likely made that movie more watchable.

No One Speaks the Same Language: Cannon Films

This month we're going to be talking a lot about Cannon films, as Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films was largely the inspiration for this month's theme. If you're unfamiliar with Cannon, it's starts with Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus. They were the two top filmmakers in Israel in the 60s and one day they wondered together "If we can do this here, can we do this in Hollywood?" and they set out to find the answer. But two men who grew up loving films from Hollywood and ended up producing exceptionally popular films in their home country are bound to work through some strange filters when making films for US audiences. (Though, the strangeness of their films are also due to the haste in which they were made, as well as the egos that made Golan and Globus as successful as the were.) But frankly, that strangeness worked well for them for a surprising amount of time. Don't take our word for it though, watch the documentary Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films and see for yourself. (And know that while the filmmakers were getting this movie ready for release, Golan and Globus shot their own documentary on the subject (The Go-Go Boys: The Inside Story of Cannon Films) and beat Electric Boogaloo to their release date, because of course they did.) 

No One Speaks the Same Language: Equalizer 2000

Equalizer 2000 was not only Robert Patrick's earliest films, it was also an effort of a crew that ranged from a Phillipino director, to an Australian star, and many things between.

Baby Robert Patrick!

The movie: This is one of those Mad-Max rip off movies, this one takes place in the desert that was once Alaska where everyone is fighting over resources and lots of stuff blows up!

The language barriers: The star of this gem is Australian, much of the principal cast is American, and there's a few South Korean actors just to spice things up. The writers were an American and Filipino, the Director (Cirio H. Santiago, a longtime Corman producer) Filipino and much of the crew also...

A gun with some guns stuck on it!

The result of those language barriers: There's a serious lack of story happening in this move, that just lead to much more action! (And, just in case you're wondering, the "Equalizer" is a giant gun built by the hero.)

The good news: This was far from anyone's first or last rodeo, so at least it didn't end anyone's career. Much of the crew were already staples in the film community in the Philippians and none of the cast were novice.  There was a young Robert Patrick and a seasoned Vic Diaz, but a huge surprise came from the main lead, Richard Norton who has a long stunt coordinator resume, most recently working on (and in this case appearing in) Mad Max: Fury Road and Suicide Squad.

Vic Diaz!

Further learning: The documentary Machete Maidens Unleashed covers some of the amazingness that came out of the Phillipens from this era. It's made by the same documentary crew as Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films, and Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation!.

No One Speaks the Same Language: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Let's start the month with a good movie with some serious language barriers; The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

The language barriers: Italian director Sergio Leone didn't speak a word of English, and two of the American stars didn't speak a word of Italian. This left Eastwood (The Good) relying on a translator and Wallach (The Ugly) to speak French (as he and Leone were both fluent) in order to communicate with their director. But inarguably, the biggest problem that arose from this language camp came from the Italian fluent crew and one Spanish speaking trigger man.

The problem that language barrier presented: In the movie there's a scene where a bridge gets blown to kingdom come. The Italian crew gave the honor of igniting said blast to one of the Spanish soldiers who were standing in for the American Civil War soldiers. While everyone was waiting around for the sky to be just right, a member of the effects crew said a word over the radio that sounded like the cue for the soldier (who was listening through a language he didn't understand for that one word), and he subsequently blew the bridge to kingdom come with not one single camera rolling.

The solution: The bridge was rebuilt, and they blew it all to hell a second time. Movie making is wild sometimes.

First Clue: June's Screening

Clue #1: This month's theme is No One Speaks the Same Language!



Tape Freaks Presents: June's Mystery Movie! at the Trylon microcinema, Wednesday, June 1st @ 7:00pm, only $5!

Purchase advance ticket here.

Knock Off Movies: Nightkiller

Released in Italy as Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3, this movie is way closer to a Nightmare on Elm Street rip off. This movie was also written and directed by the man responsible for Troll 2, a movie with zero trolls in it, so that alone could explain the odd miss-titling.

The plot unfolds something like this: A woman is attacked in her home by an intruder wearing a grotesque mask. The intruder torments the woman and attempts to kill her, but she manages to escape. She is promptly admitted to a hospital, but quickly released and is instantly kidnapped by another tormentor. This time her attacker has her trapped in his basement, and escape seems impossible...

The killer in his mask.

Full spoiler plot summation: [Serious spoilers, if you intend to sit through this torture-porn, then don't read this section as it spoils the "redeeming" payoff.] The woman's second tormentor turns out to be her husband who was working with her doctor and the police to get her to remember more about her initial assault. But since the audience is never told that incredibly important information, this seemed like a really twisted torture-porn where, ten mins before it ends, we find out this lady's own husband was inflicting horrible amounts psychological torture just to jog her memory for some bit of information that I guess the police needed.

We were talking a lot...: Maybe we talked over all the key duologue in this movie, but if it was that easy for us to miss, there honestly wasn't enough of it to convey the plot points. Usually if we talk over a movie, one of us will catch the key bits, especially when there's four of us watching, but we were all equally aghast at the final scene.

Reasons you should watch: I mean, I want someone else to watch this just to tell me if we missed some key duologue, but it's pretty rapey so keep that in mind before diving in.

Third Clue: May's Screening

Clue #3: When this movie hit video release it featured a fun gimmick to lure in unsuspecting victims. ...Renters! I meant renters.

Tape Freaks Presents: May's Mystery Movie! at the Trylon microcinema, Wednesday, May 4th @ 7:00pm, only $5!

Purchase advance ticket here.

Knock Off Movies: The Humanoid

This movie shouldn't have been as boring as it was but man, this movie was dull! Seriously, the photo montage below pretty well captures the intensity of this film.

The plot unfolds something like this: Star Wars meets Dr Frankenstien, but duller than you could ever imagine that being.

But the real reasons you should watch: A baby Richard Kiel, some intense versions of future fashion, a fantastic score from Ennio Morricone, some pretty elaborate sub-plots, and the most insane Darth Vader rip off we'll ever see.

See for yourself: The whole thing might or might not be on youtube right now...

Knock Off Movies: Passenger 57

When the world's most dangerous hijacker finally gets arrested what mode of transportation do authorities chose to transport him with? Airplane. And that's not the least believable thing that happens in this movie.

The plot unfolds something like this: Die Hard on a plane.

But the real reasons you should watch: Um... 90s Wesley Snipes and baby Tom Sizemore? There's also the strangest attempt by an actor to be Joe Don Baker...

Colette's end credits thoughts: "This movie could have ended like five times over." There are points in this movie where most of the bad guys leave the plane and I can't even remember what convoluted nonsense gets them all back on the plane! But that's exactly what happens. And I'm pretty sure it happens multiple times.