EPICALLY GOOD NEWS!!

:::::::::::::::UPDATE:::::::::::::::::

We've been moved to every FIRST WEDNESDAY at the Trylon, starting in FEBRUARY.  I've changed the information below to reflect that.

We officially have a new home for Tape Freaks screenings at Trylon microcinema!!! And that's lucky because we love Trylon and everything they do for the local film community, not to mention they're home to our other favorite local film series Trash Film Debauchery!

We take over the Trylon's first Wednesdays starting February 3rd @ 7pm, but we won't be on their printed calendars until March so stay tuned in here, our facebook page, or the Trylon's online calendar for screening info and clues!

With a new home there will be some minor changes and we'll have a more detailed post outlining those soon but for now, WE ARE SO FRIGGIN' EXCITED!!!

There's just one more thing to cover in this post; season two of Tape Freaks Presents would obviously not be possible without the lovely community of film goers that has sprung up around us. To anyone who dropped in for one screening or made it to almost all of them, to anyone who dragged friends down to the mall or shared our posts on your social media, thank you. Thank you so, so much. There is no way we could continue on this adventure without you guys!



Expect more details soon, but in the meantime, keep your first Wednesdays free! EXCITEMENT!!!!!!!!

Third Clue: December

Tonight's movie was the inspiration for John Carpenter's Halloween!

Tape Freaks Presents: Mystery Movie! Theatres at Mall of America, Thursday, Dec 10th at 7:30pm, only $5! (Come to the Star Bar early and grab a free poster! If you're looking for posters from past events check here!)

Santa Clause Conquers the Martians: MST3K

Incase you didn't already know, we're HUGE Mystery Science 3000 fans. (And we're SUPER pumped that the kickstarter to make new MST3K episodes is going so well! There's about 48 hours left to donate as I type this, so fund it if you can but spread the word either way!) But we don't let a holiday season go by without watching one of the christmas MST3K episodes!

Santa Clause Conquers the Martians is some serious deep hurting. Martians (who are green humanoids who of course) have decided to kidnap Santa so he will spread joy to their martian children who traditionally live a life devoid of fun. (Possibly an inspiration for The Night Before Christmas story, though the rest of the plot bares no resemblance.)

The episode: This is an earlier Comedy Central episode, so it features Joel, Frank, and Dr Forrester! It also features the epic song “A Patrick Swayze Christmas” written by Mike Nelson.

The plot unfolds something like this: Well, I pretty much summed it up above there... But I didn't mention the ultra 60s animated opening!

Reasons to watch the MST3K version: This movie would be completely unbearable without some kind of running commentary tragically taking it down. It's bad, reeeeeel bad. But it's a pretty great MST3K episode and “A Patrick Swayze Christmas” is not to be missed.

Background to research before you watch: They make multiple references to Pia Zadora in the film, give her Wikipedia a glance before watching and you'll enjoy those jokes that much more.

What we learned: Martians are seriously face blind.

They seriously think this Martian is Santa, even though they've been hanging out with the real Santa for hours!

Shane Black X-mas

Shane Black loves writing movies that take place during the holidays. He says it grounds the stories, makes them instantly relatable. And that might be true, but it also gives his usually depressed main characters a suitable environment in which to be depressed. But whatever the reason, it makes Shane Black movies our favorite part of the holiday season.


The Last Boy Scout:

An ex-football player and a private eye team up after uncovering a plot to legalize sports gambling. They also make horribly misogynistic, homophobic, and vaguely racist jokes when ever they get the chance...






Lethal Weapon:

The quintessential buddy cop movie. If you've ever uttered the phrase 'I'm too old for this shit', this movie is likely why.






The Long Kiss Goodnight:

School teacher Samantha Caine has amnesia, she can't remember anything from her life further back than the last 8 years. She's hired a private eye to help her uncover her past, but together they'll uncover a massive conspiracy that creepily mirrors some of the more convincing 9/11 conspiracy theories.






Kiss Kiss Bang Bang:

Shane Black is often cited as the linchpin for RDJ's acting comeback, and this movie is why. A unique twist on the Shane Black staple odd-couple team up makes this one of my personal favorites.






Iron Man 3:

This might be our favorite Iron Man movie, and that might not win us many friends! People's main complaint about this installment is that it's more of a Tony Stark movie than an Iron Man movie. But that's the silliest thing I've ever heard, Tony Stark is Iron Man!

Second Clue: December

Clue #2:

This is the first of two holiday classics that this month's director is responsible for.

Tape Freaks Presents: Mystery Movie! Theatres at Mall of America, Thursday, Dec 10th at 7:30pm, only $5! (Come to the Star Bar early and grab a free poster! If you're looking for posters from past events check here!)

Holiday Classics: Don't Open 'Till Christmas

Oh boy! This movie. If you want to watch a flick that was storyboarded and edited by people who can't be in one place for more than 3 mins, this is your flick! Seriously, people are called down to Scotland Yard to answer two questions and then sent on their way. Officers visit victims, ask three questions and then leave. They re-visit victims, ask one question, leave. A victim visits an officer at his home, they go out to dinner, and she's back at her place so friggin' fast, you'll actually yell “WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?!”.

The plot unfolds something like this: Somewhere in London there's a bomb rigged to go off if anyone stays in one location for longer than five mins. Just kidding! The real plot; someone in London is taking their hatred of Santa out on the city's jolly-in-red. With few leads and a hot headed boss, the detectives on the case are left searching for clues where ever they can. They know the murder is tallish, male, and wears a mask. And they'd know what kind of mask he wore too IF THEY EVER THOUGHT TO ASK ANY OF ANY OF THE WITNESSES! But, with so few leads, the bodies are piling up. Will any man be safe walking the streets dressed as Santa again?

Possible drinking game: A drink every time someone isn't asked the most obvious question by the police. (You thought I was going to say ever time someone leaves a scene too early. Well if you played that drinking game, you'd die 20 mins into this gem.)

Things we thought during the movie that turned out to not be true: We thought many scenes were added after the fact to pad out the movie. But every single one of those scenes were tied into the ending, so we were totally wrong. And extra confused...

Reasons to watch: If you go in knowing that this movie is nothing but a big bag of problems, you might actually find some enjoyment in watching it. They kill a lot of Santas! I mean, that's something, right?

Things to look away for: There's an uncomfortable scene with an older man and a younger “adult” performer in one of those divided by glass jerk-off booths. The young woman never takes off a single stitch of clothing, but it is no less unbearably uncomfortable.

What we learned: You can make a film that's made entirely of problems.

First Clue: December

Clue #1:

There's holiday movies, and then there's holiday movies we like...

Tape Freaks Presents: Mystery Movie! Theatres at Mall of America, Thursday, Dec 10th at 7:30pm, only $5! (Come to the Star Bar early and grab a free poster! If you're looking for posters from past events check here!)

Anti-consumerism November: Action Anti-consumerism

There's little I love more than a good action movie, unless that action movie also has strong anti-consumerism undertones!


They Live:

This is a classic movie that I screened on my birthday one year to at least 3 people who hadn't seen it. Mind blown. But if there was ever an anti-consumerism movie, this is it. And it is nothing short of glorious.






Small Soldiers:

Maybe directors of kids movies get away with so much subversive stuff because studio heads don't want to sit through a kids movies to give them the ok? Whatever the reason, kids movies often have more progressive ideas in them than you'd think, and Small Soldiers is no exception. In fact, it's a shining example. This movie is explicitly anti-big box store, it explores the problems with toxic masculinity, the benefits of team work, and the dangers of letting weapons manufactures take over the toy industry.

Still a kids movie, but one that's pretty dang tolerable, if not pretty darn good.

Fight Club:

This is a movie that spits in the face of toxic masculinity, but was marketed as the glorification of just that. It's a study on rites of passage for men and how without that, men wonder the world as giant children looking for approval and fulfillment in all the wrong places. There's also a healthy study of the consumption of goods and ideals sold to us as our own identities (the commodification of self worth). Fight Club is an exploration of life without the crushing weight of needless need, the exploration of self, and the importance of growth. It's pretty fucking great, and clearly one of my personal favorites.

Bonus!!
Knock Off:

Not an anti-consumerism movie per se, but the terrorist's plot is to put explosive devices into a large amount of consumer goods and detonate them; for reasons. And, like any good Van Damme movie, the rest of the plot is so convoluted it's hysterical.

Third Clue: November

Clue #3:

This month's movie is our favorite offering by our favorite director and actor duo.

Tape Freaks Presents: Mystery Movie! Theatres at Mall of America, Thursday, Nov th at 7:30pm, only $5!

Anti-consumerism November: Corporations and Genetics

Genetics has long been a topic covered in anti-corporation movies, and the outcome is never good for the consumer. Here's some of our favorites: 

Carnosaur:

Leaving an unstable genetics researcher completely to her on devices can have unexpected results, if you don't think about it for more than ten seconds... But you know, competitive products, cutting costs, longer shelf lives, happy shareholders, etc.


Carnosaur Trailer by trailermov




Black Sheep:

It's not often the IMDB description of a movie can't be improved upon, but this is one of those instances: An experiment in genetic engineering turns harmless sheep into blood-thirsty killers that terrorize a sprawling New Zealand farm.

Really though, if you've not watched this one, you're missing out...

Blood Freak:

What do you get when you combine genetic testing, recreational drugs, and PTSD? A vampire were-chicken, obviously...





Bonus!!
The Clones (1973):

We've not seen this movie in full, but the trailer was in a Trailer Trash lineup and rightly brought the house down. Aside from that, there is nothing I can say about this trailer that it doesn't explicitly say itself.

Anti-Consumerism November: Weaponized Stuff

There's nothing evil corporations love more than selling weapons. Here are three movies that call into question how good of an idea that might be...

Aliens:

What happens when you're the only survivor of an alien attack on your spaceship? The company that rescues you makes you go back to that ship so they can bring said alien to your home planet and weaponize it. What the hell could possibly go wrong?

This is a crazy amazing action movie with an anti-corporate subtext (though, the subtext is not so “sub”, I mean Cameron isn't known for his light touch...) that touches on how the commodification of living things on this planet gets us into tremendous trouble, and how that greed could undo us entirely when we start applying it interstellerly.





Carnasaur 2:

The first Carnasaur pretty explicitly lampoons corporate hierarchies, where as the second installment explores how one person's bend to destroy the world intentionally, could leave a door open for another person to unintentionally do the same exact thing.

This time it's government that's hording dangerous organisms for weapons research, and you can pretty well guess how things unfold.






Death Machine:

The insatiable drive for humans to control all things doesn't end at living creatures, they also must conquer the stuff they created themselves; machines. The same basic primes of Carnasaur, with the gritty action of Alien. And it's not completely bad to boot!

Hayden Cale comes to work one day to discover protesters are angry about secrets her corporation has been keeping from the public. When she finds out there's a thread of truth to the protesters' grievances, she orders the shut down of all active projects for independent review. That's when Jack Dante (Brad Dourif) lays down the gauntlet...

Second Clue: November

Clue #2:

This month's movie stars an original SNL cast member.

Tape Freaks Presents: Mystery Movie! Theatres at Mall of America, Thursday, Nov th at 7:30pm, only $5!

Anti-consumerism November: Halloween III

Now, for a long time, this was considered by many to be the worst in the Halloween series. But if you're going to evaluate this installment fairly, you kind of have to remove it from the series entirely. This movie's charm lies in it's anti-consumerism subtext, the simplistic beauty of the baddie’s master plan, the confusing complexity of his motives, and the fact that it stars Tom Atkins.

The bad guy's plan is to sell halloween masks to million of kids and to use a television special as a switch that activates said masks, sacrificing the wearer in pretty gruesome ways. Why do they need to make a mass sacrifice? Mmmm, something to do with witch craft, Celtic traditions, and stone henge. But never fear, Tom Atkins is there to save the day.

Atkins plays a doctor, and that is a fact I always forget. There's really isn't a reason for him to be a doctor, except that he's in the hospital while the first victim divulges some key dialogue. After that, Atkins could just as well have been investigating that patient's death as a homicide detective. But that weird detail adds to the “charm” of this off-the-wall character. (And actually, he's only investigating the man's death because he thinks the man's daughter is hot, so it doesn't really matter what his profession is...)

But all these quirks don't change that this is a movie we love. It's not an amazing movie or ground breaking by any means, it's just a good example of an underdog movie grabbing your attention and telling a fun story.

Tim Kelly's interview with Tom Atkins at Theaters MOA. 

First Clue: November

Clue #1:

This month's theme is anti-consumerism horror.

Tape Freaks Presents: Mystery Movie! Theatres at Mall of America, Thursday, Nov th at 7:30pm, only $5!

Lucio Fulci is Rated X: The Beyond (on 35mm!)

This was the original pick for our October Tape Freaks screening, but we didn't want to compete with our friends! But the fact remains; in a genre known for mixing avant garde themes with unflinching horror, this is truly one of our favorites. The settings are unnerving, the soundtrack is haunting, the gore is fantastically creative, the ending is faux esoteric, and during every transition in the movie's climax, our heroes forget how they successfully killed the zombies in the previous scenes.

The plot unfolds something like this: After inheriting a decaying hotel in Louisiana, Liza decides to head south from her home in New York to renovate and reopen the hotel. Unfortunately, the renovations disturb one of the Seven Doors of Death and things sort of go to hell from there.

The setting: Who makes a horror movie set in Louisiana? Italians. Who puts a basement in a building in Louisiana? Those same Italians.


The gore: This movie's gore is simple, but effective and memorable. A vile of acid washes a woman's face off while creating a frothing bloody mess that threatens to dissolve the victim's daughter. A man is consume by flesh eating tarantulas. We are treated to the reverse of the splinter through the eye kill featured in Zombie. And there's another fatal dog attack.

The soundtrack: Fabio Frizzi's inarguably epic score looms dread over the entire film.

The over whelming dreamlike state of it: When I've read people's feelings on this film they often include something about the movie's persistent dreamlike feel. There is something to be said for a film that successfully uses it's unintentional disjointedness to invoke evocative atmosphere. 

Final thoughts: Of all the Fulci movies in this series, this is the one not to miss flickering over the big screen.

Lucio Fulci is Rated X:

The Beyond (on 35mm)

Mon, Oct 26, 7:00 & 9:00
Tue, Oct 27, 7:00 & 9:00
@ Trylon microcinema, tickets $8 (or snag a discount card at $25 for 5 movies!)

Also, this may be your last chance to pick up a screen printed poster!

Cat in the Brain

When Nicollet Village Video shut it's doors forever, Tim and I begrudgingly picked over the corpse of an old friend at their close out sale. We grabbed things that were harder to find, things we'd rented in the past, and some stuff we'd never seen just to keep some memory of that place. One of the “unknowns” we grabbed was Fulci's Cat in the Brain, how could we go wrong? Italian horror with “cat” in the title...

The plot unfolds something like this: Lucio Fulci is directing a movie when he starts unraveling. He's seeing seeing murderous visions and has begun acting them out. How far will his delusions take him?

Yeah, he broke a cardinal rule: There's a rule in writing where you don't put yourself into your work. Some people brake this rule with great success (Kurt Vonnegut, Charlie Kaufman, R. Crumb, come to mind) but if you're not at the top of your game, it's not wise to break cardinal rules. And since Fulci was long past his prime (as he was no longer pairing with Dardano Sacchetti, the writer that gave him his best screenplays), he likely should have made this film about someone else in some other field.

The kills: Mostly footage from his other films.

Reasons to watch: If you're trying to see all the Fulci movies, this is one of them. It's not totally unbearable, but it's like watching a clip episode of your favorite TV show, with a Fabio Frizzi score. This is also an early iteration of the meta-horror genre.

Lucio Fulci is Rated X: Poster

You can still pick up a limited, four-color, glow-in-the-dark screen print of Tim's design for Lucio Fulci is Rated X poster at the Trylon! (We're splitting the proceeds with the Trylon, so purchasing one poster supports two great local things!)

You can pick up a poster any time the Trylon is open, but we recommend heading over this weekend and visiting Moon Palace Books and Peace Coffee before catching a screening of Rosemary's Baby. I mean, it's just a suggestion...

Deep Red

We've seen this movie hundreds of times, but when we saw the new blu-ray release at the Trylon last October, we were blown away. There's a version of this movie that actually makes sense! Not that the nonsensicalness of the other version was overwhelming, but there are a few key scenes in the Italian dub version that make things fall together in very satisfying ways after having wondered “why?” for so many years.

The plot unfolds something like this: While walking home from the bar Marcus, sees his downstairs neighbor in her apartment window pleading for help. He rushes to her rescue, but he's too late. Haunted by the circumstances of her death, he takes a personal interest in solving her murder. With the help of a plucky reporter he'll uncover more truth than he bargned for as they follow a bloody trail to the killer's identity.

Creative kills: Decapitation by necklace. Drowning in a tub of scalding water. 

Things to watch for: Long drawn out closeups of children's toys rotating around, scenes that are shot so wide that the entire planet seems devoid of people (save the one we're focused on), bloody death scenes, and creepy kid's drawings.

The score: This is one of Tim's favorite Italian horror scores and his absolute favorite Goblin score. Entertaining from start to finish, and less prog-rock than their other scores, you can listen to as an album and never guess it has anything to do with a movie. (This score is also marks the first time Goblin worked with Argento.)

Special effects: Carlo Rambaldi (E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, Alien, Close Encounters of the Third Kind)

Why we love it: This is one of the only Giallo films that mostly makes sense, is plentily gory, visually stunning, and has a stellar soundtrack all in the same film. Deep Red is the mark you hope all the other Giallo will reach, but most fall short, especially in the sense making department.

Version to watch: Italian dub with English subtitles.

Lucio Fulci is Rated X: New York Ripper

There is something to be said for this movie, the soundtrack is phenomenal.

Usually when I write movies up I try to stay on the positive side. I'll include “things to look a way for” if there's gross spots in otherwise redeemable movies, I'll even write from the perspective of the people who enjoyed the movie if I straight up hate something. But there is a certain sub-set of movies that I can't do that for: the glorified-misogyny genre. If we lived in a world where women on film were as varied and nuanced as the men [specifically the white men], maybe I'd feel differently about these kinds of movies.

But that is not the world we live in.

Though, as we've learned here at Tape Freaks, even the worst movies have something redeeming to offer and New York Ripper's offering of redemption lies in the soundtrack. But I'll try my best to tell you why this movie gets a flat zero from me before I get into that...

The plot unfolds something like this: In a version of New York City where women are hyper-sexual and are routinely brutalized, a serial killer is on the loose. He's hunting down women and killing them in the most violent ways imaginable, all while talking like Donald Duck.

No really: The killer talks like Donald Duck through the whole movie.

Reasons to watch: The soundtrack is amazing, and that Donald Duck thing is pretty weird...

Reasons not to watch: Continuous, gratuitous, and pointless violence against women veiled by a thin and boring plot. If this movie existed in a world where women were given equal representation on film and behind the camera , or weren't blamed for violence committed against them, or weren't sexually brutalized in film and television for the absolutely flimsiest of reasons, then maybe this movie would have a justifiable place in cinema history. But we live in a world that treats women like shit and demands they be grateful for the chance to be treated as such. So to this movie, and all movies like it, I say: Fuuuuuuuck ooooooff.

Best description I found of this film: “...essentially a ‘greatest hits’ of sexist splatter effects with Donald Duck quacking away in the background.” - Mondozilla for Horrorpedia

Reasons to find the soundtrack: Francessco De Masi's score to this film was in my heavy play rotation long before I saw the movie. The jazzy 80's percussion and brass punctuated by orchestral swells made for excellent bike commute music. When I imagined the movie this music accompanied, I could see hard-boiled detectives, smoke filled precincts, moody cityscapes, and very likely murder. I certainly did not imagine a straight-up slasher movie, which is all New York Ripper turned out to be. (Though, imagining a cop movie wasn't too out of line as scoring those types of projects was Masi's bread and butter at the time.) This soundtrack is densely textured instrumentation masterfully layered in every track and I could seriously go on about it all day long, I encourage you to give it a listen!

What to watch instead: A good slasher substitute would be Slumber Party Massacre. The women in that movie are pretty well rounded characters, but it was also written and directed by women. If you're looking for another Fulci movie, The Beyond is a far superior film with extreme gore content and better female characters. If you're more interested in nudity than gore, Hard Ticket to Hawaii is a good choice. It's more of an action flick featuring nude women, but they're more well rounded and empowered than most clothed women in cinema from the same time period.

Lucio Fulci is Rated X [THESE SCREENINGS ARE LONG IN THE PAST]: 

New York Ripper

Mon Oct 19 7:00 9:00
Tue Oct 20 7:00 9:00 

@ Trylon microcinema, tickets $8 (or snag a discount card at $25 for 5 movies!)

House by the Cemetery

This is a movie that features a house next to a cemetery, or more accurately a house with some graves next to it. But that's inconsequential because the cemetery never really come into play...

The plot unfolds something like this: Dr. Norman has taken his wife and son to live in a remote victorian house while he picks up documenting the history of the house where his colleague Dr. Peterson left off. Dr. Peterson's studies abruptly ended when he murdered his mistress and killed himself. Young Bob (the Dr. Norman's son) receives a series of ominous warnings to leave the house via his friend Mae, who only he can see. All of these warnings are ignored by Dr. Norman who's become obsessed with his research. Will he discover the secrets the house holds, or will the secrets tear their family limb from limb? 

Creative kill: Carving knife stabbed through a victim’s head, entering the back of the skull and exiting through the mouth.

Things to watch for: A grave stone set into a living room floor. The greatest bat vs. human scene in horror. The best use of a basement in a menacing way. Some exceptionally strange make-up effects.

Disappointing things: The library scene doesn't end with a tarantula eating a guy.

Worst named character: Dr. Freudstein (the original owner of the house).

What we learned: When you move into a house next to a “cemetery”, have the basement inspected for detention-shifting-zombie-doctors before moving your family in.

The Witchery (aka Evil Dead 4)

Recently, over at the Tape Freaks house, we burned through the second season of Baywatch Nights. (If you're not familiar with that amazing piece of television history, it's basically Baywatch meets Supernatural and X-Files) so to top off our Hasselhoff-meets-the-supernatural binge, we watched Witchery...

The plot unfolds something like this: Leslie, and her boyfriend are illegally squatting in an abandoned hotel, located on an island off Massachusetts, while she researches the sorted history of the island for her forthcoming book. Meanwhile, interested buyers come to survey the hotel and property. The two groups run into each other and soon discover they are stranded on the island. Unhappily, they must share the hotel for the evening, and that's about the time they start wondering if any of them came to the island of their own free will...

Ok, I admit: There's some artistic license in that description, it would be nice if it was that straight forward but believe me, it's more convoluted than that.

Things to watch for: Everyone in this movie delivers their lines like they are drunk, especially Hasselhoff, but especially the kid brother. The Original-Hipster who has a book written by a “really obscure German writer” that's “never been translated into english”. Some over the top make-up effects. A kid that loves his sister a smidge too much. Oh, I haven't mentioned Linda Blair's in this!

Things to turn away for: A sexual assault from satan.


How this movie ends: One of the characters looks straight into camera and says “My baby?!”.

Originally Released as: Evil Dead 4 (But like any good Italian movie sequel, there's no connection to Evil Dead what-so-ever).

Hoff trivia: Hoff and his co-star Catherine Hickland were married when this movie was filmed. The internets say the year this movie was released, they were divorced...

What we learned: Everything David Hasselhoff makes an appearance in turns to alcohol soaked' gold.

Third Clue: October

Clue #3:

This month's movie is based on a book and a wildly popular comic, both written by the same Italian author.

Tape Freaks Presents: Mystery Movie! Theatres at Mall of America, Thursday, Oct 15th at 7:30pm, only $5!

Italian horror rapid fire list!

Some Italian horror worth noting!

Blade in the Dark: A film composer rents a secluded villa while working on a film score. He's also being stalked by a killer who may have a connection to the film he's working on....





Demons: A group of people invited to a theater to watch a movie. What they don't know is this movie features demons that will possess members of the audience. Some fantastic rubbery demon effects, over the top kills, and a rockin' 80's soundtrack! How can you go wrong?





Ghost House: A haunted house is sending out signals over ham radio which lures a couple to the house to investigate. Meanwhile an RV full of teenagers stop by the house to party. Things get genuinely creepy despite the fact that we're to believe ham radio operating is a very popular hobby amongst hip 20 somethings. This movie also features one of the creepiest clown dolls outside of Poltergeist.






Stagefright (1987): While preparing for opening night, a local theater troupe lock themselves in a theater for an all night rehearsal. Little do they know a masked murderer is locked in with them. This is a fairly straight forward slasher, except the killer has a very detailed owl mask...




Phenomena: Jennifer Connelly plays a girl who can telepathically control insects, Donald Pleasence plays an over the top professor, a score by Goblin, and directed by Dario Argento. What more could you want? What's that? You also want a monkey running around wielding a straight razor? Ok fine, just this once though.

Suspira

If ever there was a more visually striking horror movie, we have not seen it. Enormous sets pulsate with so much vivid color they seem alive in their own rite; lights cast red and blue glows from impossible sources, a forest surrounds the school grounds seemingly plucked from someone's nightmare, and don't even get us started on the score!

The plot unfolds something like this: Suzy Bannion has been accepted to a prestigious dance school, and even before she steps foot in the building, strange things start happening. A girl disappears into the night, teachers ritualistically gather at all hours, people die left and right, and nobody seem too bothered by any of it. Suzy's dorm-mate is determined to figure out what's really happening; but then she goes missing as well. That leaves Suzy to put the pieces together herself before she's consumed by mysteriousness as well.

Reasons to watch: This is one of the last films to be shot using the Technicolor process, making it as richly beautiful as it is creatively gory. The set designs were designed with the knowledge this would be shot in Technicolor and are vibrant to the point of glowing. There's some intense gore and drawn out kills. And a twist ending that doesn't make sense, but is pretty fun anyway.



Yup, that's: Jessica Harper (Phantom of the Paradise, Pennies from Heaven), and Joan Bennett (Dark Shadows).



The soundtrack: This Goblin score strays from their signature sound making this more effectively creepy, atmospheric, and largely more haunting than most of their horror scores.

Most creative kills: One of the dancers is killed by room full of razor wire. A woman is pulled through one pain of glass, and then is pushed through another. A dog abruptly, and mortally, turns on a human...

How do we really feel about this film: This film never fails to stir up our creative juices, we can't recommend it enough!

Lucio Fulci is Rated X: City of the Living Dead

This movie opens with a séance so intense the medium dies of fright. What scared her so badly? She had a vision of a priest hanging himself in the church's cemetery and consequently that opened the gates of hell. And that would be all well and good (so to speak) if the medium didn't wake up in a coffin having been burred alive two scenes later. Before you ask, this movie does takes place in the 1980s when people routinely have autopsy preformed when they die under mysterious circumstances and are embalmed before being burred. That she would awake after her burial is asking for a pretty large suspension of disbelief, even for a Fulci movie. 

But, as this is a Fulci movie, that point of contention is made up for with rich atmosphere, a looming sense of other worldly dread, a fantastic score from Fabio Frizzi, and of course, horrifying gore.

There is so much gore.

And not just the standard Fulci effects and over the top zombifications, there's also a scene where a man dies from being drilled straight through the head, there are many tears of blood, there's even a room full of maggots! So full. And those aren't the only maggots in the film.

So many maggots.

This movie is also the first in the “unofficial” Gates of Hell trilogy. The second being The Beyond and the third would be The House by the Cemetery (though that might be why it's “unofficially” a trilogy as they never talk about "the gates of hell" in House). The thin (and at time straight up goofy) plot gives this film a handicap, but it pretty well lays the foundation for how amazing The Beyond turned out. It also gives The Beyond a run for it's money in the well-that-was-a-confusing-ending department...

So confusing.

But it truly, watching this movie fully prepared for it's flaws leaves you free to more thoroughly enjoy the great elements abundant throughout the film. (There's so much gore and grossness! So much!) And you can enjoy all the grossness in restored glory, so you'll see every single maggot!

Seriously, so many maggots.


Lucio Fulci is Rated X: 

City of the Living Dead

Mon Oct 12 7:00 9:00
Tue Oct 13 7:00 9:00 

@ Trylon microcinema, tickets $8 (or snag a discount card at $25 for 5 movies!)

Clue Two: October

Clue #2

This italian horror features zombies, but it's not exactly a zombie movie...

Tape Freaks Presents: Mystery Movie! @ Theatres at Mall of America, Thursday, Oct 15th at 7:30pm, only $5!